Silent Hill : This town sucks
by Darkcomet
Summary: Chapter 17 the final chapter how does it end? Just read and find out. R&R btw there is a big messge inside so please read
1. James the DA

**Silent hill**

**This town sucks**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the ring or silent hill or its characters though I wish I did**

**James the DA**

As james looks through a mirror and says

"Hi my name is james what is yours?"

james sits here for five minuets waiting for it to answer

" So you are not going to answer me are you think your better than me huh?"

James said getting angry at the mirror who still isn't answering him

" I'll kill you!"

James screamed as started punching the mirror with both hands. After the mirror was shatterd and james's hands were bleeding james starts to walk out of the bathroom

" I hope a bunch of weird things happen on my way I hurt my 2 hands I really wish I had a third."

James said hopefully as he walked out of the bathroom. When he got outside he started walking to the wall next to him

" I got a letter about 2 Mounths ago from wife my dead wife it said in my restless dreams I see that town silent hill you promised to take me there again but you never did well I am alone there now in our special place waiting for you also please tell Laura not to worry. My first impulse on reading this is who the hell is Laura and why should I care second I forgot I even had a wife Must have been a crazy week in vegas and as I thought about it I rememberd I did have a wife but she died of that disease that nobody but me has heard of. then thinking harder I remembered I killed her but forgot why. After two mounths of sitting around the house being lazy and not wanting to go I got another letter This time it read Where the hell are you you little bastard I have been waiting here for two freaking mounths if you are sitting on the couch reading this you are as useless as a campfire on a rainy night. Sorry didn't mean to snap but get over here now you retard! now I was mad so I got up off the couch got in my car and drove the 3 minuets to get to this town so I can kill my wife."

James thought as he looked at the water so he went to his car got in and started diving but crashed into the fence bloking his way. As he tumbled out of the car he looked at where he should be driving it said 30 second road to lakeveiw hotel closed so he walked to the nearest path he could find where he read a sign Silent hill 100 miles the loud plains 400 miles

"100 miles I hope that some fat guy dosn't try to kill me today because then I will go off on him."

James said as he walked along the path humming One winged angel he was just getting to the second time through when he saw a well

" Oh crap, stay calm the lady on the phone said seven days and it has been uhh I watched the tape on Tuesday and today is also tueday ... Crap"

he looked in the well and saw a girl with long black hair climbing out of the well. He looked around and found a big rock he picked it up and threw it down the well at the girl noking her off the wall

" SSSSSSSSSSSCCCCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUJJJJJJJJJJAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS"

She screamed . James continued walking when he arrived at the cemetary he knew it was one when he tripped over a tombstone in front of the gate that read Retards trip over me. He was walking through when he met a girl in a gray sweat shirt and red sweat pants and short black hair James thought

" She might be hot" as she turned around

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

James sceamed like a little girl when he saw her face it was mario

"Dear god why must you torment me!"

James looked up at the sky and screamed

" Wait it is just a mask!"

The mario lady said she took it off revealing an Ok looking woman

" Whats wrong, can I help you with anything."

the woman said James then slpped her and screamed

" What the hell was that for you scared the crap of me and if I had a weapon I would have killed you."

"Sorry just wanted to see if that turned you on." She said

"WHAT!" James screamed

"Just kidding not really"

James now calming down asked

" Is this the way to silent hill." now angry at his stuipd question.

" What are you some sort of retard of corse it is there is only one road Seiresly you have a freaking map." The lady said insulting him

" My name is angela and I am sorry for screaming at you do you want me to strip for you."

"No Angela I will just be going on my way."

With that James walked away and thought " She is probably a man anyway".

As she watched him walk away she Thought " He will be mine oh yes he will be mine." She thought laughing like a school girl in heat.

James thought "I hope to god I don't run into her again" and then walked through the gate.

Please Reveiw


	2. Who invited the weirdos

**Chapter 2**

**Who invited the weirdos**

**Disclamer: I do not own kingdom hearts Disney or silent hill or anything in this story except the bunny**

As James was still walking down the road to get to Silent hill he thought to himself

"I wonder will I find anything intresting in this town or will I just be wasting my time."

As he reached the end of his sentence He saw in the fog a boy with spikey brown hair and black clothes and big yellow shoes. To his right was a duck with a blue jacket and white feathers. Next to the duck was a thing that resembled a dog wearing green clothes and a yellow hat. As james approched them he started to wonder

"I wonder if these guys are here looking for sombody or they are here because they are all homosexuals. Yeah the bigger ones are the fathers and the smaller one is the son."

Authors note:I would like to point out that I am not trying to offend any body with this so if I have sorry.

James approched the group with a big smile on his face and said

" Congradulations."

They stared at him as if he were high on crack or something along those lines. The brunnette spoke up first

"Congradulations? For what." He said still wondering if the guy in front of him was peddling crack.

James still smiling says "You know the adoption."

now they are really worried he might be an escaped mental patient so the duck asked in a raspy like voice"Adoption" as he looks at the other two.

James gasps and say shocked "You havn't told him yet I am so sorry little boy it is always hard to find out this way I am sure your fathers can explain what the proble is." and starts smiling again.

"Wait one minuete you think that him and me are.." the brunntte said pointing at the dog and then him and james nods "What would make you say that!"

The dog screamed at james "I thought it was obviouse two adult males walking to a resort town with a six year old child. so if you arn't homosexuals then that makes you..." James gasps and screams

"CHILD MOLLESTERS"

he is now running around in circles flailing his arms up and down sreaming"IneedanadultIneedanadult"

Very quickly. "Hold on we are not child mollesters, nor homosexuals. My name is sora, his name is donald and the others is goofy." Sora stated trying to get james to stop screaming

. James hears what sora says and stops running and Says " I am sorry but there was no other explanation for."

He was cut off by Goofy screaming "Why am I always last I think I am more important than donald."

" Goofy I told you about this if you keep complaning about being last I swear to kingdom hearts I will kill you where you stand!" Sora screams at goofy.

" Hey why are you guys here?" james asks after the conflict had been resolved.

" Well I am here to find my girlfr... a girl I know named Kairi" Sora said not looking at anyone around.

"But sora I thought you said she was your." Donald was cut off by sora "So james what brings you here to this foggy town" Sora was now looking at james

" Me. Well I came here to kill..I mean see my wife again." James said catching himself.

"Wait I think he said kill at first." Goofy said "Goofy what have I told you about getting involved in my conversations?" Sora qustioned goofy "That if I kept doing it you would chop my testicles of if there are any." Goofy said obviosly hurt.

"Good boy. Now did you and you wife have a falling out and then she move out here." Sora asked james.

"No she is dead I killed her...I mean filmed her yeah she was in to that sort of thing." James said swallowing hard

"Well we better be going soon but I am still to tired so we are going to rest here would you care to join us... James! Where did he go?" Looking at where james once was and seeing he was no longer there.

"I will get you Sora oh I will get you big." Goofy said under his breath.

James was no running like a lunatic down the road when he heard a chainsaw

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LEATHER FACE IS GOING TO KILL ME!"

He was now running faster than a Formula 1 race car at top speed. When he reached a bulding he stopped and said "I still do not trust those 3 guys mabey they are rapist especially the dog looking one."

James then shuddered and kept walking when he saw blood on the road and thought " Hmmm could this be cherry cool aid." and he bent down and liked it and gagged " Nope not cherry coolaid it is prune juice."

So he followed the the "Prune juice" to a construction site Where he heard a static noise and folled it throgh a crack in the fence. When he reached the other side he saw a figure on its knees but it had no arms and was making a noise a kind of squish noise.

"OH MY GOD IT'S A TRAVILING PRUNE JUICE SALSEMAN AND HE HAS NO ARMS!" James screeched and looked around for a weapon and saw a glass case with a plank with a nail in it with a sign that read

break in case of Apocolipse

James broke it and took the plank and strarted to beat the hell out of the salseman and left him bloody and quivering.

"That will teach you to try to sell my a nutritinol drink I only drink soda!"

He screamed at the now deceased monster. He climbed out of the crack and the raidio started up again

Ja...where...is...work...son of a...damnit...hote...come see... Lar... the radio then clicked off

"Holy shit. I saw a talking Dog and duck A few minutes ago!" he then heared the mario bros. theme

"Hey my cel phone." James said pulling out a razor phone "Hello." James said

"Yes I would like one pizza with everything on it plus some extra spleen." A voice said on the other line

"This is james phone but who the hell are you." James said confused

"James oh sorry hey it's me Walter you know walter sullavin and man am I drunk." Walter said over the phone "Sorry walter have to go." James said " Screw yo." Walter said efore james hung up now to go find Mary.

James was on his way back to te town when he saw an out of the way place with a table. he walked in and saw somthing he couldn't beleive "PEPSI. Oh thank god!" he put it in his poket and found another one and did the same "This is going to be a good day." James said as he walked into the fog. "Hey look a bunny."

Reveiw. Peace I am out yo.


	3. Of Angels and Apartments

Chapter 3

**Diclaimer: I do not own kingdom hearts Silent hill or finalfantasy seven ** **although it would be sweet if I did**

Angels and apartments make james crazy

When we last left our hero he had just beaten the holy dog shit out of a prune juice salseman and stole a pepsi from some random place. He now decided to take his plank.

"Damn salseman tring to sell me health drinks." James say recalling his previous encounter when he walked out on the street and saw another salseman.

"Damn these handicapped people tring to get sympothy buys." So he pulls his wooden plank out and well he just did some very unspeakable things to the poor thing.

When he was done with it he was panting heavily and there was blood falling from the sky ( Do not ask me how... magic I guess.) He then walked away and encounterd many of these things as he walked though town killing all in his path of destruction.

He eventually came to a van and went inside " This looks like where leather face would live if he was on drugs."

Meanwhile Leather face is in a prison cell somewhere " I swear to god if anybody goes in my R.V and screws any thing up all holy hell will break lose."

James was moving things around and came upon a map and it said go to neeleys get drunk then go to Martin street and Kill Owner of the Apartments. That bastard owes me money.

James said " Why not lets go to the bar and get drunk I see no problem with this." as he left the R.V to the bar

Meanwhile on a different end of town Sora, donald, and goofy were walking around "I wonder why that guy ran off" Goofy asked

"Mabey he ran because he thought that goofy was a raging homo" Donald said

"Shut the hell up bird boy" Goofy screamed at donald

" Screw you, Jackass" Donald Shot back

" Thats it! It's own bitch" Goofy said as he went for donald who was about to blast him with fire

"Alright enough both of you retards." Sora said " You guys are both the reason he ran off now lets keep moving!" Sora yell at them

" Ah Shut up sora your just mad that kairi thinks you are a panzy"

Goofy said "Panzy huh. Come he you little bastard!" sora screamed as he charged goofy with his key blade and they all three were fighting each other using more swear words than the springer show and the osbornes combined.

Back to james

James had just arived at neeleys bar and when he walked in what did he see... nothing not even a bottle of water. " Those cheap bastards what kind of town is this!" James screamed at no one in particular. So after james was done screaming he decided to go to martin street where he could take out his frustrations on the guy mentioned on the map he was just that pissed.

He was walking when he came upon a way there and he came upon a big hole in the ground but is was not the hole that got his attention but the guy standing near it he had long silver hair, black leather clothes, and what appeared to be a wing sticking out of his shoulder.

"Who are you" The strange man said to james not looking at him

" My name is james." he said

" James hmm I take it your here to save some one dear to you" The man spoke again

" Actually" James started

" Actually, What james" The man said sounding impatient

" Hey who the hell do you think you are bossing me around!" James shouted

" I am" As he turned around in super slomo " Sephiroth" (OMFG!)

" Holy shit it really is you" James said in astonishment

" No dumbass I am actually santa claus what do you want for christmas james" Sephiroth said in his normal voice

" I want a band new toy!" James exclaimed happily

"This guy is a dumbass" Sephiroth thought to himself

"Santa Are you OK" James asked acting like a 3 year old

"Dude do you smoke like crack or somthing I don't even closley resemble santa" Sepheroth stated

" UHHHHHHHHH I new that I was just testing you and you passed" James said grinning

" OK I just going to go now" Sephriroth now worried for his own well being started to inch away

" Wait Sephiroth can I have somthing as a momento." James said as sephiroth was inching away

" Sure take this key I think it says apartments but who the hell knows. I killed some dude in an alley and took it from him" Sephiroth said handing james the key.

"Thanks" Said james as he ran off

" Thank god he left I thought he was going to try and do naughty things to me there for a second." He said breathing a sigh of relief " oh well better get going." he said as he floated away

As james reache the apartments he wondered why he should go in there but then decided he could probably steal some things like jewls or somethin along those line so he walked inside. He decided to go into the second floor where he found more salsemen

" Where in the hell do these things keep coming from!" James screamed as he went on another murderous rampage

When he had killed them all he went a room where he saw a maniquene dressed in females clothing with a flashlight. He decided to take it and when he did a thing rose up off the floor

"HOLY SHIT IT'S A HANDICAPPED PROSTITUTE! DDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE" James screamed as he swung like mad then ran from the room never wanting to speak of this again.

He went up to the 3rd floor and he started checking rooms most doors were locked but he found one that wasn't so he went inside and what he found made it seem like he had went to heaven he had found...a gun.

" Hell yeah!" James exclaimed with glory as he started jumping around in circles yelling like the most ignorant person you have ever seen.

He then walked out of the room and started on his way back when he saw a fence with a shiny object on the other side and being the idiot he is he is attracted to shiny things.

" AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH shiny" he said as he reached for it desperatly trying to grab it. As he was getting closer to it he felt somthing slam his hand

"GOD DAMNIT" He screamed in pain

" HA HA" A little girl laughed

" you little bitch." He said as he pulled out his gun

" Eat lead bitch" he said as he shot at her

"HOLY SHIT" said The little girl now running away screaming bloody murder.

"Damn she got away" James said angry.

"If I see her again I will bust a cap in her ass" James said as he walked back down to the second floor.

The end of my third chapter and I probably already offended some one oh well. Please reveiw the more you send the quiker I will update :) also I would like to say tanks to those who have reveiwed already like Lemex and Especially Schriberjoe be sure to read their stories to. By the way I am thinking of a story called the league of villians with manyvillians in it my 4 people I have thought of already sephiroth, Ganon, Dr. wily, and sigma if there is any one you would like to see in it please tell me and I will try to put them in there if I can. SO until nextime Please read and reveiw.


	4. James has a gun!

* * *

Chapter 4

James got a gun (Uh-oh)

Disclaimer: BLAH BLAH do not own anythin (wipes tear away from eye)

Last we saw of our cough-loser-cough hero james he had just been punked by a little girl

" OHH, if I ever see he again!" He said as he loaded his gun. He was on his way down to the second floor and was walking through the hallway when suddenly

"AHHHHH" Screamed a voice out of nowhere

" Good hopefully some one stabbed that little girl" James said as he smiled evily as he walked twords the noise when he got to the end oh the halway he saw a person or a thing standing on the other side

"UHHHHHOHHHHUHHH" it breathed (sorry best breathing noises I could come up with)

" What in the holy hell are you." James said obviosly about to piss himself

the creature said nothing and kept breathing

"O.K I'm just going to go in here now" james said inching to the closest door, he then bolted inside and breathed a sigh of releif

"Hmmm I wonder who that freak was. thinking I was santa claus" Sephiroth walked down the street wondering

"Probably one of my fans everone loves me, except for cloud that is... bastard" Sephiroth continued to think as he came upon some people laying on the ground it was sora donald and goofy who had knocked each other out in the previous chapter

"OH MY GOD! It's a group of sleeping bums" Sphiroth said as happily as he could "Now I can raise my kill count." he said as the one winged angel music starts to play and sephiroth emits a violet glow as he floats to the air

Sora now waking up and seeing this " HOLY SHIT!" He screamed in fear waking up his partners "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING"

"Quiet hobo I am going to kill you quickly or rather slowly using super nova."

" I am not a hobo!" Sora screamed up at him

" Yeah he is a homo" Goofy said

"Goofy shut the HELL UP!" Sora scremed

"hmmmmm" Sephiroth was looking down at the and he floated downwards " I will let you live" Sephiroth said smirking.

"For a price" he said again

Back to the apartments

James now inspecting the room he had just entered thought about what just happened " I don't know what that thing was but I hope to god I do not see that thing again." he said as he turned around

"Well looky hee a dead body infront of a T.V that has a moral value stop watching telivison" james said

Authors note : do not stop watching T.V it is bad for...uhhh. you're ears yeah

James then wandered into a room with a clock. A note left said "on the wall go to room 208 and get the key to open this clock and screw around with the hands until you hear a click"

"Screw that" james said I'm not going back out there with that freak so he raised his gun and started to fire at the clock until he had demolished the clock using a massive amount of bullets he got from somewhere I do not know about...damn plot holes.

James walked through a hole in the wall leading to another room where he found a pepsi " Ahh good old fashioned unhealthy soft drinks" james said as he walked out of the room

he noticed he was on the other side of the fence where he he had seen the creature "Oh shit on a shingle I am gonna die." he whined as he went up the stairs.

as he reached the top he hoped he wouldn't see the thing again... he was wrong

he went into a room and saw the most horrifing thing any person will ever see

it was... a monster 3-way. it was the creature with 2 of the handicapped prostitutes

James on the verge of vomiting went to hide in the closet and did the only thing a horrified person would in this situation...he watched.

When the creature was done it looked over at the closet and thought " What the hell someone is watching me and left their flashlight on...idiot" It picked up it's knife or rather bigass sword and walked tword the closet.

"Oh shit...wait one minuete I have a gun blastin time" James thought with a smirk as he readied his gun, aimed and...click out of ammo

Authors note: why is he out of ammo now, damn plot holes.

The creature swung open the door

"Please don't kill me" James screamed

"James?" it asked

"Huh?" He is now surprised

"It's me P Head...you know from coellge" it said

"P.H. Holy crap it has been years, but what were you just doing?"James asked

" That I was uhh...dancing, yeah dancing" P.H studdered

"OH Ok I beleive you." James said

"Hey I will tell you what go out to the court yard and into the other building, go all the way to the right and you will see somthing you will never forget." P.H said cheerfully

"Oh cool I'm going to go see!" James said as he said as he ran off

"Stupid bastard now where were we" He said imping to the prostitutes

"Ahh damnit not again" He screamed, they were dead "I'm going to be a virgin forever... or am I" He said grinning evily about to do some horrible things.

Chapter 4 is done so please reveiw and I am still waiting for suggestions for league of villians. so please reveiw

and thanks again to all those people who have already espicially schriber joe, and lemex also if you are a FF VII fan then go check out a story called moogles gone wild it is freaking hilarious. again please review.


	5. enter the queer

Chapter 5

sponsored by plumbers crack.

**Disclaimer: I do not own things in this story not even plumbers crack inc.**

Our loser james had just met P. head for the first time since college "So james what are you going to now." a voice said from out of nowhere.

"What the hell. Why should I answer you" James said kinda startled.

"Just answer the damn question before I pop a cap in your ass." The voice stated in a calm manner.

"Uhhh, I guess I am going to kill that little bitch what stepped on my hand." James said afraid He didn't want another cap in his ass.

"Very good!" The voice exclaimed as a key flew out of nowhere that hit james in the head

"OWWWWW!!!! GOD DAMN IT!" James screamed in a blind rage as he pulled a gun from his pocket and began firing where he got the ammo who the hell know probably from the cap in his ass.

"People assaulting me today damn. Hey I got hit with a key it says courtyard." James says as he walks down the hallway and sees walt Disney laying dead in a pool of blood after being shot about lets say 50 times.

"Poor walt disney I will find who killed you and slit their throught with a rusty knife." James said as he made his way to the court yard.

(Batman effect) Meanwhile

"So what did you have in mind." Sora said to SEPHIROTH!(Sorry had to do it)

"I like that sword or key rather if you give it to me I will let you live." Sephiroth stated as he walked twords sora.

"O.K deal" Sora said with a smirk

He handed over the key blade

"But you have to give me your sword." Sora said beaming with confidence

" Fine take it." Sephiroth said casually

"Transaction complete thank you." Sora said

They went their sperate ways

"He has no idea heh heh" Sora thought to himself

"Dumbass I will just kill him and take masume back later." Sephiroth evily thought to himself

(Batman effect) Back to james

James had just walked through the court yard and into the delaphidated building there and was about to enter the room.

"Hope nobody missed what happened just a few minuets ago on my way here the most action ever, But my favorite part was where the beaver pulled a chainsaw on me" James said out of breath as he entered the room.

He walks in dosn't notice the dead bodys lying literally everywhere and goes into the bathroom.

"Finally a clean toileOH MY GOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed when he saw a fat mass crumpled over the toilet.

"What?" The fat mass asked

"IT SPEAKS IT IS ALIVE!!!" James screams so that the whole town can hear him.

"Uhh o.k I am eddie who are you!" He said cheer fully even though he still felt the urge to vomit.

"Uh James but why the hell are you puking in a god forsaken place like this dumbass." James asked being a Wiseass.

"I don't know why are you in a godforsaken place like this ...dumbass" Eddie shot back

"Screw you I'm leaving". James said about to cry

"Sorry hey how about I give you a key!" Eddie said happily

"Fine where is it." James asked still hurt

"I think I sat on it" Eddie said laughing

"So that means it's up your"

"Yep" Eddie cut in

"Oh Shit" James said disgusted.

" You could just reach in there and... hey where did you go?" Eddie asked

James now had just ran at the spped of sound through the apartments so fast it created a sonic boom and as he ran past the garbage shoot a news paper hit him inthe face he stopped and slid all the way up to the second floor where he began this chapter.

Speedy bastard ain't he

" DON"T huff hufff WANT TO huff huff DIG IN huf huff PLUMBERS CRACK!" James said on the verge of fainting.

"What is this that hit me?" James read a paper that said

"In other news Walter Sullavin convicted of murdering 10 people more info. as we acheive it."

"Whew lucky I came here Walters getting blamed for what I did." James said now How do I open this door without that crack key.

(B.E) Meanwhile

"Walter how do you plead?" a Judge asked

"Not guilty damn it I told you I didn't do it my roommate james sunderland did!"

"Well to bad because you are Guilty."

"Oh yeah well guess what!" He said as he pulled a gun from his coat and shot the judge, the jury, and the exicutinor.

"Am I still guilty!" Walter screamed "I'm Walter Sullavin Bitch."

He then ran out of the court house and off to silent hill.

End Chapter

WOW! Walter killing someone no surprise there I think this is a short chapter but keep reading it will get better. I would like to thank all of my readers especially schriberjoe if you havn't read his story yet check it out it is hillarious. Well R&R until next time.

This chapter was approved by Plumbers Crack inc. where else would cracks come from.


	6. Weird Stuff !

Chapter 6

Weird stuff!!!!!

As walter walked down the street killing every one he met he pondered "James is a murderer Awsome dude me and him have more in common than I first thought"

He stopped and saw a baby

"AWWWW what a cute baby!!!" he grabbed the baby then punted it into a building

"WALTER SULLIVAN BABY BITCH!!!!" Walter screamed violent ain't he

(Still using batman effect) to James

James had tried every thing from blowing the door open with c4(!?!?!?!?!) and bashing it in with a hammer(WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!) but nothing worked

"GOD DAMNED DOOR! YOU WILL FELL MY WRATH!" He screamed as he kicked the door and hurt his foot.

"SSSSSHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!" He cursed.

He eventually calmed down and rested his hand on the door as the door flew open and he fell out of it onto the street.

"SSSSSHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!" He cursed...again as he fell to the ground.

After a few more minuets of cursing he walked back up to the door.

"Well at least the door is open now." He said relieved as he jumped through to door

what he didn't know was he jumped to high hit the top of the door and fell back down through between the buildings.

"DDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMNNNNNNNN IIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!!!!!!!" He screamed on his way down for the second time.

(BE) To walter

Walter now back at his and James apartment looked in his closet for weapons he found his pipe a chainsaw and his guns wich he stuffed in his duffle bag but he was still missing something.

"Where the hell is it." He complained as he dug through a massive supply of weapons for his closet was a walk in

"AH! here it is" He exclaimed as he fond his... spoon... OF DEATH

"all right now I need to find an airport ticket to West virgina." Walter stated

"HEY WALTER!" Someone screamed outside his room it was frank sunderland

"Coming!" He said as he reached the door and opened it

"I found a note that says james went to silent hill I have a plane ticket to go there so keep watch on the building."

Walter noticing he has a free ticket pulls out his memory earasing device and erases Franks memory

"Now you will give me the ticket" Frank hands him the ticket

"You will keep this umbilical cord in a red box in your room" Walter hands Frank an umbilical cord from his Pocket. (Where are they getting these items)

"You will give a person named Henry Townshend this room and say...I am a mother obssed villian of som sorts" Walter says

"O.K" Frank says

"Also your son james is...umm...he's...dead, yeah that works" Walter says

Frank just drools

"Also when I leave you make the walls sound proof and make the windows open and bullet proof and When Henry move in you will chain the doors shut and smash a hole in his bathroom wall undersatnd" Walter Says

Frank just nods his head

"Good and you will not remember ever seeing me" Walter says

Frank nods

"O.K" HE then snaps his fingers and Frank comes to

"Sorry You can't have this room freind I am saving it for Henry Townshend." Frank said

"Judo chop" Walter said as he hit Frank in the neck and knocked him out

"Wally Come here boy!" Walter screamed as little walter comes out of the bathroom

"Yes daddy." Wally says

"I need you to stay here and make up a story about how screwed up your life is and annoy the hell out of one of the tennants so that he wants to kill you." Walter stated firmly

"Yes Sir" Wally said

"Good boy. I'm going to west virginia so be good." He said as he walked out the door

"Bye Daddy." Wally said as he followed him but tripped on frank and knocked himself out.

(BE) back to james

about 300 unsuccesfull attempts later

"Why don't I just try and walk." James said relising how much of a retard he was and walked through the door

When he made it to the other side he looked around the room he was in and saw a wallet floating in a toilet but as he got close it sank into the toilet

"Well only one thing I can do." He said as he apparoached the toilet and stuck his head inside the shit filled toilet.

When he reamerged with the wallet in his mouth he spit the wallet onto the floor and said

"AHH! just like the days at home well lets have a look in this wallet."

He looked inside and found a peice of paper that read

"I can't believe you reached in the toilet for this peice of paper I would never tell you my code for the lock is 1R 26L 3R 4L ha ha...wait...damnit"

James walks to the next room and opens the safe and looks inside

"Oh my god!" James exclaimed

(BE) At the airport

As walter was going through customs and baggage check the gaurds scanned his bag

"O.K 2 Pistols a Lead pipe a steel pipe a chainsaw and abot 50 ponds of weed ok every thing checks out" Said the obviously dumb gaurd

"O.K thank you" Walter said

"Now just walk through the metal detector" The gaurd said

"Yes sir" Walter said as he walked through the gate

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"Please put all Metal objects in the tray" The gaurd said

Walter Reached in his pocket and pulled out his spoon

"LOOK OUT HE HAS A SPOON!" The gaurd said pulling out his gun

Walter seeing this grabs his spoon and stbs the gaurd in the throat. He then grabs his bag and runs through the terminal killing all gaurds in his path.

He makes it to the plane finds his seat and awaits take off. A voice comes over the speaker and says

"Now for our inflight movie we have a musical"

"OHH" Walter said happily

"We will now start TOMMY" The speaker said

" OHHH GGGGOOODDDDD NOOOOOO!!!" Walter screamed as the movie started.

(BE) Back to james and the safe

James reached in the safe and pulled out 500000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 bullets for every gun imaginable

"OHHHHHHHH HELL YEAH!!" James screamed with joy as he walked off to explore the new apartment building.

He eventally reached a room with a large mirror he looked around and noticed somthing

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" James screamed in pur fright of what he saw.

End of chapter

CLIFF HANGER OMFG!

What did james see Reveiw me and send me your thoughts on what he saw. Long chapter and all chapters are typed in one sitting WOW!

Thanks to my reveiwers for your kind words I would give you a cookie had I not eatin them all. I just got the game Bully started playing it Yesterday and beat it this morning but that is useless info. but anywho plese reveiw me.

This chapter brought to you by infinte ammo inc. we let you kill it as many times as you want!


	7. can you spare some change

Chapter 7

You got some change?

Dsclaimer: I own nothing, Literally

After James awoke from whatever happened to him (Passed out like a sissy girl)

"Where am I" James asked himself wondering where he was...obviously

"Your finally awake" A female said

"Who's there answer me or else I will ...uhh... Kick your ass!!!" James said now very freaked out. He looked into a corner full of darkness and who emerged from it...Princess Zelda

"Hello James I wish to make love to you." Zelda said very longingly.

"O.K" James said happily

As he proceded to do things I cannot say )

"OHH ZELDA" James screamed

"What the hell!" A voice said from nowhere

"AHHHHHH!!" James screamed like he did last chapter

"What?" The voice asked

(BE) To Walter

" He's a pinball wizard. Got to be a wiz" Elton John sang from the movie tommy

Walter is sitting in his seat frothing at the mouth "NO MORE TOMMY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Walter Shreiked as he reached up and pulled a gun from his bag and procedded to unload on th movie screen until it was liquidated.

"I SWEAR TO GOD THE NEXT PERSON TO MAKE ME WATCH THAT MOVIE!!" Walter screamed at the other passengers.

When suddenly a dart went into his neck

"What the hell" Walter looked at it and said

Begining to get sleepy "You Bastards" He said as he went to the ground.

In his sleep he started to speak "Hello Tifa and Aeris you wanna get busy wait... Barret and Cait sith What are you Going to NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

(BE) to James

"Who is it?" James said (Funny he knew who it was earlier!?)

"I know who you are." The very womanly voice said

"How!" James now kind of disturbed

"Oh I know who you are, Russle Crowe" The person said confidently

"How the... Wait who?" James asked

"Don't deny it Russle" the voice said

"Actually I am james sunderland" James said very confused.

"Do you think I am stupid I know a cel... oh wait you really arn't Russle crowe are you?" said the voice

"No, Now show yourself!" James Demanded

"Very well" The voice said stepping out of the shadows

It was a man with blue hair wearing a robe but to low and exposing what looked to be a thong

"My name is Kuja." Kuja said

"Hmm There is somthing about this guy that is weird but I can't put my fingure on it" James thought as Kuja Stared at james.

"Why are you here?" James asked

"Well I came here because my punk ass of a brother ran here and I wanted to kill him, So for murder I suppose. What about you?" Asked Kuja

"Murder as well but my wife" James said but was cut off

"Let me guess caught cheating on you" Kuja guessed

"No" James replied

"Took your money" He guessed again

"Guess again" James said enjoying this little Q&A

"Then she was just a bitch" Kuja said

"Bingo!" James said happily

"Now Lets get the hell out of this room" James said wanting to leave

As they left the room a light clicked on behind the mirror and there sat Angela

"Very soon my sweet man HAHAAHAHA!" She laughed as the light went off

(BE) To the passed out walter who is now in luggage

"NO BARRET PLEASE DON"T PUT THAT THERE NO, NO AHH!!" Walter screamed as he woke up from his very awkward dream

"Those bastards drugged me now for some payback" He said very evily

He walked back to the other passengers with pipe in hand.

WHen he made it back he screamed

"DRUG ME WILL YA OHHH YOUR GONNA GET IT NOW!" He screamed in a bloody rage as he proceded to do some very unhealthy things to the passengers.

After about 10 minuets he was coverd in blood and had just killed the piolets

"HAHAHA! I RULE THIS PLANE" Walter screamed in triumph

"Wait how am I supposed to fly this thing?" Walter thought to himself

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"Oh Shit." Walter said

(BE) Back to James and Kuja

They had just arrived in a room with a cabinet in it

"What do you think it is?" Kuja asked

"I don't know but there was a note on it" James said spotting a note

The note read

"For those of you who got into my safe you are never going to find out what I have in here. HAHAHAH!!! I will never tell you the secret to opining it is to insert 5 Quarters into the holes HAHAH...Wait AHH DAMNIT!"

"Hey Kuja could you spot me some quarters?" James asked

"Sure" kuja said reaching behind him and magically 5 quarters appeared

"How the hell did you?" James asked

"Magic" Kuja said

"What ever" James said as he put the quarters in the holes

"Last time I found one of this guys notes I got so much ammo for every gun imagenable so this probably has the guns!" James said very excited

He opened the cabinet and in it was... A key

"That's it, a key, a freaking KEY! THAT'S BULLSHIT" James screamed

He then stormed out of the room with the key and into the room which the key was for he then walked inside he then saw P head doing...somthing to a salesman

"OH Shit sorry P head!" He screamed as he reached or the knob of the door but it was locked

"uhh" P head grumbled

"I am so sorry for killing the mood for you" James said felling bad, he knew P heads problem

"UHHHHH!" P head screamed as he walked tword James with his bigass knife

P head was about to swing his sword when James rolled out of the way.

Suddenly the door flew open "Hey james I unlocked" Kuja started to say before P head hit the door in Kujas face.

WOWOWOOWOWO a siren was heard in the distance

P head hears this and walks away down some stairs James neglected to notice.

"What--the--hell" James said shocked as he followed P head

He came out on the street and started to walk down the street when he looked through the fog and saw ... Laura sitting on a wall

"Finaly pay back" James thought happily to himself

He walked up twords the little girl

"Hey" She screamed

"What" James said innocently

"Your that weird guy who shot at me and also killed Walt Disney" She said

"And your the little Bitch that stepped on my hand" James shot back

"Screw you, You never loved mary anyway" She screamed at him

"Your damn right !" James screamed as he pulled his gun and fired and hit a rope tied to a brick hung on the building. It swung down and hit Laura in the face and over the wall.

"YES!! Go james, Go james" He danced happily

"Hey guys watch this" He heard a voice in the fog

James went over to see.

END OF CHAPTER

Chapter 7 down and James is out of the apartments finally well you know the drill Read and Reveiw and what not. Oh and for kingdom hearts lovers check out this story called Kingdom hearts II this is war tis very funny.

I meant to type a halloween speacial but I got lazy anywho for some fun what do you think is James is going to see when he reaches the voice Reveiw with answers.

This chapter is brought to you by Magic corp we can make you pull money out of your ass.


	8. It hits the fan

Chapter 8

It hits the fan (You know what I mean)

Still own nothing but I am sill allowed to play Smackdown vs Raw 2007

We last left james he had had just gotten his revenge on laura by smashing her face in with a brick.

"Hey watch this donald" said a familiar voice

"OW!" Screamed anther familiar voice

"I bet there is something going on up there" James said like the complete idiot that he indeed is.

When he reached the end of the alleyway he saw Sora, donald, and

"Hey" Goofy said

"What" I the author replied

"Don't make me last you bastard" Goofy said

"Who are you talking to like that Goofy" Sora said pissed

"The author that cheap bastard" Goofy shot back

"You are lucky James and some gay looking dude standing there" Sora said looking to his left

"How did you know I was...wait gay looking" James said turning around

"Hi!" Kuja screamed at him

"HOLY SHIT!!" James screamed in surprise

"What?" Kuja asked

"I thought you were knocked out how did you get here!?" James asked

"Uhh.. Magic" Kuja said innocently

"Oh." James shrugged it off

"Hey this is Sora, Donald, and Goofy" James said

"THAT"S FREAKING IT!!" Goofy screamed

"Oh get over it Goofy" Donald said sarcasticly

"No!" Goofy screamed as he pulled a gun from his pocket

"Oh Goofy quit messing.." Donald said before

BANG

"Goofy...why..." Donald said in his last breath.

"HOLY SHIT GOOFY YOU KILLED HIM!" Sora screamed

"NOW I KILL JAMES" Goofy said

"I don't like where this is going Kuja...Uh-oh DUCK!" He screamed as they ducked behind a dumpster that magically apeared out of nowhere.

"NO!!!" Sora screamed as he took Goofy to the ground as they struggled for control of the gun

As the struggle procceded a siren is heard and 5 cop cars show up and 20 normal police come out of them. They grab goofy and pull him off of Sora and drag him to the car. Goofy is now frothing at the mouth and stuggling to get free.

"LET ME GO I NEED TO KILL THEM! He screams as he gets free and tackles Sora to the ground but is then handcuffed and beaten until knocked out. He is then stuffed into the back of the police car and then is drove off.

"Whoa.." James says in amazement of what just happened

"I know" Sora replied

"He just freakin' killed the Duck" Kuja added

"Well he was a..." Sora said as the cop car came back and ran into him

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH" Goofy laughed as he drove the car with his feet and through the for

"HOLY SHIT" James screamed as he ran to Sora

"CURE!" Sora screamed and is nursed to health

"Why don't you just do that for...oh" Kuja started to ask when he saw the smashed up road kill that was Donald

"Never mind" Kuja finished

"Hey Sora could I use you for an expirement?" James asked

"Sure James what is..." Sora started to say

BANG

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! YOU JUST SHOT ME IN THE FOOT YOU ASSHOLE!" Sora screamed in pain

"Well I just wanted to see if those cops came back" James replied

"OHH That must hurt" Kuja said sarcastically

"Hey buddy don't push me" Sora said

"Hey! are you with that red head chick in the skirt?" Kuja asked

"YES! HAVE YOU SEEN HER!" Sora said brimming with hope

"Sure she was going to the hospital looking for you" Kuja Answered

"YEAH!" Sora screamed and ran off happily

"Dude did you really see her?" James asked

"Hell no!" Kuja said laughing

"Oh, Well lets keep moving" James said

(BE) To Walter

"Whew cannt believe that just happened" Walter said Impling to the Crashed and Burning Plane debris behind him

"Now where am I uhh ahh Brookhaven High school hmm Reminds me of the old days" Walter said thinking and walking as he bumped into somebody

"Hey watch where are you walking jackass" Eddie screamed

"Shut up bitch" Walter said

"Sniff that's real hurtful Sniff" Eddie said crying

"Oh sorry then" Walter said seriously

"Really?" Eddie said starting to stop crying

"Hell no you fat peice of crap"

"WHAAAA!!" Eddie screamed and ran off crying

"heh heh Dumbass" Walter said

"Ahh here I am Brookhaven Hospital" Walter said

(BE) Bak to James

"Here we are Rose water park" James said to Kuja

"Your wife is here?" Kuja said confused

"Yep I bet so" James Replied

"Probably being harrased by my jackass of a brother he thinks he is a stud. He finaly gets the woman he wants and he is going to start cheating on her. dumbass" Kuja said disgusted

"O.K. sure" James said as he walked into the so called park

as james looked through the fog

"Hey baby." A voice said very sexy like

"Zelda" James Asked

"no" the voice said

"Mary" James said reaching for his gun

"No" the voice said again

"Russle crowe!" Kuja screamed

"NO!" It said angry

"O.k. I give up" James said

"It's me james" the voice said as the woman stepped out of the fog

"Maria, Mary's sister" Maria said

(BE) to... Sephiroth

"Damn That dog just wasted that Duck and then got arrested hmm" Sephiroth said to someone

"Yes but I need them all dead for master" a deep voice said from the shadows

"Hey I'm getting close to making my move just shut up and get my paycheck ready" Sephiroth shot back

"Kill them first" The voice said

"Yes... steve" Sephroth said as the shodows dissapeared

"Hardass." Sephiroth said

"I can still hear you asshole" Steve said

"So" sephiroth siad walking off

(BE) Back to james

"oh shit" James said

"Huh?" Maria

" I said yeah Maria" James said sweating bullets

"I thought you said shi" Kuja started to say before james elbowed him in the stomache

"So James have you thought about my offer from a few weeks ago" Maria said coming on to james

"Uhh not really I uh" James started to say as she Started to make out with james

"Damn!" Kuja said in surprise

"How as that?" Maria said

"Good I suppose" James replied trying to inch away grabbing Kuja

"You know I am coming with you right James" Maria said happily

"Oh Damn" James said

"What" Maria said glaring at james

"I SAID OH JOY NOW LETS GO!" James screamed and stormed off as Maria and Kuja followed

as they walked off Angela popped her Head

"That whore is trying to steal my man I am ging to kill that bitch" Angela said going back into her bush

A Portal of Darkness appears in front of the trio

one winged angel statrs to play

"Sorry James I have to kill you now and your little freinds now" Sephiroth said

"Why?" James asked

"Two reasons one I am being blackmailed and if I don't kill you my boss is going o give me Cancer in my ass and two because I am also getting paid 10,000 gil so is that enough" Sephiroth says frustrated

"Oh" James says

"Right now DIE!!!" Sephiroth screams as he charges at James but trips on a rock and flys off the road into a wall and knocks himself out and making himself bleed in the process"

"Whew doged that bullet huh?" James said relieved

they walked of as Maria Stares at James ass

"I hate these Women like this" Kuja said Refering to Maria

"This is going to be a long day" James thought to himself

END OF CHAPTER

another one bites the dust and James and his friend Kuja are still going strong. Walter finaly gets to Silent Hill I think this is only going to get better. hey everyone reading this you should checkout the continuation of a story called ask Sephiroth called the New ask Sephiroth. Send in your Questions and the fictitious Sephiroth will answer them.

Now I would like to address something, all of you flamers out there you can talk about my story, hell even insult my intellect but do not talk about my fans reading this story. it just so happens I write for my Schools news paper and I am in fact a Junior in High school, My english teacher even likes this story so don't call my readers morons EVER AGAIN!

I would like to say thanks to Schriberjoe, Mr. Kennedy, Catte, Jec, and khpwnage

if you havn't already you should read their stories for they are excellent

Please read and review.


	9. Unroutine Physical

Chapter 9

Nonroutine Physical

Disclaimer: STILL OWN NOTHING AHHH!

When we had last left our trio of misfits they were on their way..somewhere

"Man did you see sephiroth bleed" Maria said happily

"Yeah, and got several pictuers even" James said looking at the pictures

"Mabey you should not have" Kuja startd to say as they reached the bowling alley

"Mabey you should go inside James" Kuja said with Maria agreeing

"I have had a bad experiance inside a bowling alley" James thought back to the time

(BE) Flash back

"Hey James those people said that evil elves live in the back of the alley" Walter said to a young James with a mullet

"NU-UH" said James

"Go see then tough guy" Walter challenged

"Fine" James said getting up and storming up the alley

"heh heh this could be fun" Walter thought chuckling to himself

"See nothing!" James screamed up the alley

"Hmm mabey there..." Walter thought

"heh heh heh" a high pitched laugh echoed throughout the alley

"uh-oh" James said as he got pulled into the frame

"JESUS CHRIST NOOO!" James screamed as Walter got up and ran at the frame

"Hold on buddy!" Walter screamed

"HELLLLLP HELLLLP" James screamed in terror

"Here I am!" Walter screamed

Flash

Walter took some pictures

James now very cut up by the knomes bleeding internaly

"Help me for the love of GOD!" James screamed

"All right all right" Walter groaned

Walter jumped down to James with a pipe and began to whoop some ass and take some names.

"There you owe me one" Walter said to a half dead unconscience James

(BE) back to the present

"And I still owe him to this day" James finished his story

"Damn" Kuja said stunned

"Walter Sullavin didn't he kill himself in prison when he was 15?" Maria asked

"Yeah but do you think he was stupid or something" James said

"Well what was he in for?" Kuja asked

"Jay walking" James said

"Well we should keep going" Kuja said wanting to leave fearing the knomes would attack

as they walked away the door opened and little knomes popped out of the door

"Run while you can bitch we will get you hee hee hee" a Knome laughed as they went back inside

(BE) To P.head

"Almost come on come on yes yes YES!!!!!!!" P.Head screamed

"Damnit!" another voice screamed

"Oh yeah new high score" P.head screamed

"Now pay up walter" P.head said to walter

"Stinking cowboys from hell" alter said reffering to guitar hero

P.head was $10 richer

"So where is James?" Walter asked

"should be here any time" he said looking at some moniters showing the whole hospital

"Good" Walter said staring at the one looking at the door

"Sensing something" P.head said

"Yeah and it's bad but you know could just be the flu, damn plane food" Walter said cursin the plane again

"Well the alarm will sound when they come in" P.head said

"O.k now I bet I can beat you at Bark at the moon on Expert" Walter said

"Allright double or nothing" P.head said as they picked up their guitars

"Here we are the hospital" Maria said

"Uhh Maria" Kuja said

"Yes fag" Maria said

"I was just... Hey what did you just call me bitch" Kuja said

"Uhh nice person" Maria pulled one out of the air

"I bet" Kuja said

"What did you want?" she asked

"Why are we at the hospital" Kuja asked

"Well one it is a good place to search for Mary after all Mary died here" Maria said

"yeah, died, right" James stammered

"What james?" Maria asked

"Nothing but in case sephiroth wakes up we should hide somewhere" James said

"Yeah lets go inside" Kuja said looking over his shoulder

as they approached the hospial

(BE) To angela

Angela was naked inside Heavens night looking on crying

"He didn't even notice me Jackass" she cried

"now now it is ok I can help" said a voice

"I am steve" steve said in the shadows

"how?" she asked

"Just listen to me... and put some clothes on for gods sake" Steve said disgusted

Angela got up and went into the dressing room

"Whew that is one ugley bitch" Steve said

(BE) Back to Walter

"DAMN IT!!" Walter screamed

"HA beat you again" P.head screamed

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"We have company" P.head said

"yes three of them" Walter said

"do we need to split them up?" P.head asked

"Well duh it dosn't really work if there are more than 2 people" Walter smarted off

"Well who should we Kill asshole" P.head shot back

"hmmm" Walter said looking at the moniter

(BE) to James

"Spooky" Maria said

"yes it is" James said casually

"uhhh" the three heard moaning

"What the hell was that!?" Kuja screamed

"I don't know but lets run" James said as they ran to the stairwell

"Hmm I thought I heard james huh oh well" Sighed a hopeless Sora

when the trio reached the third floor and looked around and found some bathrooms

"hey let's go into the lady's room!" James exclaimed

"It has been a really long time since you saw a naked woman hasn't it?" Maria asked

"A few weeks" James said

"I saw one last night actually three Aeris, Tifa, and Zelda" Kuja stated

(BE) to a now enraged Walter

"THAT SON OF A BITCH!" Walter screamed

"Whoa calm down man" P.head screamed at walter

"Screw that, the blue haired bitch is as good as dead" Walter aid in a fury as he stormed off

"Oh Shit" P.head said following him

(BE) to James

they had just left the Ladys bathroom man I can't beleive you found that shot gun Kuja" James said in disappointment

"Yeah I know some luck huh" Kuja said pleased with his new :ahem: toy

"Hey this door is locked" Maria said

"A note is on the wall" Kuja said

the note read

"at last I have a job at the hospital and I am going to do a great job. No one will ever discover the code is 1542 HA HA wait a minuet SON OF A BITCH!"

"how are we supposed to open this door the code is to complicated I think the paper has finally beat me" James said in despair

"OH YEAH" Kuja said pulling out his shot gun

Kuja pulls the trigger

BANG

The door opens and the trio enters

(BE) to the pissed off Walter

"Sleep with my women huh Oh I am going to kill you buddy" Walter said storming down a hallway as he came to a corner

"Hey your" Walter stared to say

BANG

THUD

SCAPE SCRAPE

Walter was knocked out then drug across the floor

"WALTER! WALTER!" P.head screamed

"AH He will turn up eventually" P.head said cheerfuly

"Time to trigger the hospitals mechanism" P.head said as he walked off into the hospital

END OF CHAPTER

Whew this one came out of nowhere but if things work out I will have a easier time writing next chapter I skipped the strip club and bowling alley because I couldn't think of anything so I just made Angela there instead like they walked through and didn't even notice he but ehh. SO can you guess who got Walter got knocked out by Reveiw me and find out.

This chapter brought to you by Kuja's Gun store our guns will freakin' kill you.


	10. time for a change

Chapter 10

time for a change

Disclaimer: own nothing

When we ha last left James and co. had just blasted through a hospital door with a shotgun...may have been a bad idea.

"Knock knock any body...or thing home or at least visiting" James asked being his usually idiotic self

"Dosn't look like it James" Kuja said looking around with his shotgun

"hmmm I wonder what is in this door" Maria thought as she went to a random room

"OH SWEET JESUS!" She screamed

"What!" Kuja screamed back

"It's, It's" Maria said startled

"Oh god!" Kuja said

"A MENTAL PAITENT WHO THINK SHE IS A PROSTITUTE!" James shreiked (yes not screamed shreiked like a panzy)

"no actually I think it is a nurse who just looks like a prostitute" Kuja said

"whuwhuwhuwhuwhwuhwuhw" the nurse said

"Actually I think this whole place is a whore house" Maria said

"Why? do you recignize it or somthing like a previous or current job?" Kuja said smirking

"Why you little son of a bitch" Maria said

"Whore" Kuja said

"asshole" Maria shot back

"Hey guys killer nurse over here" the nurse said

"oh sorry where were we?" James said apologizing

"Oh and for the record" the nurse started to say

"yes?" Kuja asked

"I think that girl is a whore" the nurse said

"You bitch" Maria screamed

"uh-oh" James said

"she is going to waste her huh?" Kuja asked reffering to the current situation

"yup" James said as Maria Launched herself at the nurse

"I don't know about you butI think I'm going to move on" James said

"I'm with you" Kuja said looking at Maria and the Nurse rolling around on the floor

(BE) to Sora

"Finally I get a scene, I am going to make this the best scene in the story" Sora said to no one inparticular

(BE) ?????

"Hey that is not freaking funny!" Sora screamed

(BE) yes it is

"Screw you man" Sora said walking off

and so Sora walked off and into a pit where he would be mollested by evil drug crazed mushrooms (WTF?) for all of eternity

"Ok fine I will do somthing else then" He said frustrated

"Damn that Dog Goofy killing Donald Walt Disney would be pissed if he wasn't dead. I wonder who shot him?" Sora thought

THUD

Scrape Scrape

"huh?" Sora said

he looked around a corner and he saw walter being drug across the floor knocked out, of corse he dosn't know who Walter is

"Who is dragging that guy across the floor" Sora looked closer

"is that...MARIO!!!!!" Sora said seeing Mario...uhhh... Mario

"KILL HIM!" He heard another voice screamed

"Yes sir" Mario said

"HEY YOUR NOT MARIO! FRAUD!!!" Sora screamed

"DIE GIRLEY MAN!" Fraud Mario Screamed

"OH, SHIT" Sora screamed

and the chase began as the crazy chase music from Scooby doo began to play

(BE) To James

"Why is there a heavily padded box on a bed" James asked

BANG

"AHH GOD DAMNIT WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" James screamed at Kuja

Kuja had shot at the box

"Thought I could open it" Kuja said smiling

"WELL GOOD JOB JACKASS!" James said screaming off

"Did it open? "Kuja asked

"NO!" James screamed

duh duh duh duh

"What is that music playing?" Kuja asked

"I'M FREAKING DEF THANKS TO YOU ASSHOLE!" James still screaming

"Well there is some sort of Psycodelic chase music playing" Kuja said

CRUSH

Sora busted through the wall and then through another one, Imposter Mario followed him

"Was that Sora being chased by Mario?" James said staring at the hole in the wall

"I think so but who the hell knows" Kuja said

"Hey a piece of paper" Kuja said

"This box, I finally figured out the combination it is 1456 and the key for the other lock is next to the box oh and to unlock the other the other lock is... hah you thought I was going to tell you but guess what I won't fall for it this time."

"I think this guy is an idiot" James said

"Very, hey lets go to the roof" Kuja said

"Why?" James asked

"Why not?" Kuja said

"good point" James said as the went back to the hallway

when they arrived back in the hallway they saw Maria standing there

"HAH I KNEW IT!" Kuja screamed

"knew what" Maria said

"that you are a whore!" Kuja screamed

"why" Maria said getting angry

"because you are standing in the middle of the hallway naked mabey" James said

"well that and when I walked out of the room she was laying next to the Nurse saying" Kuja cleared his throat

"OH James yes I will have sex with you" Kuja said impersanating Maria

" When!" James said

"it's true" Kuja said

"is not, But the offer is open" Maria said staring at James

"Thanks but I like being STD less" James said

"Well let me get dressed" Maria said

"Ok we are going to the roof meet us up there" James said walking off

"Ok"

as they walked off

"Hello did you forget about me" the nurse said

"I'm lonley"

(BE) to the roof

"Why did we come up here?" James asked

"Don't know" Kuja said

"Madam Kuja" Somthing said

"What the Hell was that" James said

SCRAPE SCRAPE

"OH SHIT" James said screaming as p.head showed up from literally nowhere really he just popped up don't ask me

He swung his bigass sword and hit james off the Roof

"JAMES... wait your NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" James heard Kuja screamed before all went black.

END OF CHAPTER

What do you think Kuja discovered? Well reveiw and tell me I am eager to hear your responses. until next time oh and thanks to all of my fans who read this chapter might be short but next chaper will be longer and better.

Brought to you by Duracell battery for hearing aids because when Kuja has a shot gun you might need one soon.


	11. Walter Sullavin I presume

Chapter 11

Walter Sullavin I Presume

Disclaimer:.. You don't know it yet nothing I own

When we had last left James his ass was free falling off of the Hospital after being hit by P.head

THUD

"Ouch" James said struggling to his feet

"What is the red water coming out of... oh wait that's blood and it is coming form... This gash in my arm with my bone showing" James said looking at his arm

"BONE SHOWING OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWO" James screamed for about hmm 10 minets.

"Wait I remember I have... Pepsi" So james drank it and all of his wounds were gone lkie vanished even the bone

"Thank god for things that do not make sense" James said

"No Aeris don't pull out the shock absorbers" a voice said

"Hey that sounds like..." James started to say as he opened a door

"WALTER!!!" James screamed with Joy

"AHH AERIS NOO!" walter screamed as he awoke

"wait...James is that you?" Walter asked

"Yes it's me your roommate James sunderland" James said happily

"Thnak God I was just coming to find you when BOOM I was knocked out by a big stick or something" Walter said rubbing his head

"Why are you here?" James asked

"Uhh I just said, I am here to find you" Walter said looking at James like he was a retard... James I mean

"Oh, Hey how is my dad?" James asked

"Oh, I convinced him you were dead and that I was some sort of crazed mother obsessed killer" Walter said proudly

"But you are a killer" James said

"So what I may have helped you kill that little bastard Billy Locane for beating you up but he was five and your about 20" Walter said angry

"HEY! Hey should have never called me poop sniffer" James said about to cry

"James five year old and his sister was even younger than him and she is a girl and she intimidated you" Walter said

"Hey that bitch had it coming" James said quikly angering

"By the way why did you kill all of those other people?" Walter asked

"Oh, that well I just wanted to pretend like I was a grand theft auto badass" James said

"Then why did you cut out their hearts" Walter asked

"I was hungry, But how do you know all of this anyway" James asked Walter suspiciously

"I was tried for it, but then killed the judge... and the jury" Walter said happily

"See you are a killer" James said happy he finally proving a point for the first time in is life

"So the hell what I am a killer... Just not a mother obessed one" Walter pointed out

"All right fine. Hey did you get Opreration room 302 set up?" James asked

"Yep Wally is working on a background story as we speak" Walter said

"Good so lets find a way out of here" James said pointing at the door

"Lead the way" Walter said following James

(BE) to Wally

"All right I need a good reason to kill is it beause I found out I am homsexual or mother obbsessed" Wally asked a man on the phone... IN ROOM 302 Muwhahahaha sorry

"uhh the mother obbsessed one but tell me again who is this" the voice on the other end asked

"Ok bye" Wally said hanging up the phone and going to the living room to watch Bob the evil builder... guess it's new or something

"Allright Mr. president I have a Nuclear missle trained on every capital city in America and your daughters are being held against her will. unless you give me my demands I will kill you all" Bob said

"allright Bob I give I will give you $50" George bush said reluncantly

"And?" Bob said expecting more

"I am evil bob's bitch" Bush said crying

"Good boy See you soon" Bob saod as he dissapeared from sight... somehow

"YEAH! EVIL BOB" Wally screamed in glee

"We interrupt Evil bob the builder for this announcement" an announcer said

"We have just been informed that a crazed killer is on the loosed this killer wears a Mario Mask and goes by the name..." A reporter said as Wally changed the channel

"Scooby doo time. Today Scooby and Shaggy meet Cheech and chong" Wally said happily

"Rello Reech and rong" Scooby said

"Hey man A talking dog lets use it to solve a mystery" Cheech said very very VERY stoned

(BE) To Sora

"huff nearly huff died huff back there but huff why is huff that huff music still playing" Sora said out of breath

"THERE YOU ARE!" Fake Mario screamed

"AH DAMNIT" Sora screamed running again through a door

he came out of another door in the same hallway shattering the laws of physics he ran in another one and the whole door thing happend killing all of scientists work for the past millenium

"Whew finally lost her I hope" Sora said as he reached the basement... somehow

(BE)to James and Walter

"So this is that room where that box with alll of the locks are right" Walter asked

"correct" James said

"But I can't figure out the combination to the bike chain looking lock you know the spinning lock" James said trying to discribe the lock

"hmm try 0000 James" Walter said

"That will never work" James said to Walter to insult him

"prove me wrong then" Walter said

"Fine" James said storming into the room

"all right 0000" James said twisting the lock

Click

"Hey it worked so what is inside" James said barley able to help himself

"A...A... A HAIR! WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO WITH THIS I CAN"T EVEN HURT ANYTHING WITH THIS! I AM GOING TO CUT MYSELF WITH THIS OH THATS RIGHT I CAN'T BECAUSE IT IS A HAIR!" James screamed very furious

"Hey James some little girl came by and said you are an ass hole for some reason" Walter yelled

"RRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR!" James screamed as he ran out of the room and out of the hallway in less that 5 seconds

"Damn" Walter said shocked

as james approached a room on the first floor he burst through a door

"WHERE ARE YOU YOU LITTLE BITCH!" James screamed now frothing at the mouth

SLAM

"ha ha got you" Laura mocked james

"I AM GOING TO GET OUT OF HERE AND WHEN I DO I WILL KILL YOU!" James screamed

"ASS HOLE" She screamed at him

"Hey where do you think your going?" James heard Walter said

"BACK OFF" She screamed as she kicked Walter in the crotch

"OW! YOU...LITTLE...BITCH" Walter yelled

MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH

"What the Hell" James said

MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH

"Oh shit" James said to himself

"WALTER LET ME OUT!" James screamed

"Can't...stand...up...crotch...on..fire...peed...on...myself" Walter said in agony

"Damn" James said as somthing fell from the celing and smacked james in the head

"SON OF A BITCH!" James screamed

HA HA HA the creature macked him

"EAT SPLINTERY WRATH BITCH!" James said swinking his wooden plank...OF DEATH

ROOAR

"OH YOU WANT SOME TO!" james screamed

ROAR

"FINE I WILL KILL YOU TOO BITCH" James screamed

his vision started to fog up

"Whoa! getting sleeeeeeepppppyyyy" James said as he passed out on the floor

"Hey he is out cold" a monster said

"Lets have our way with him" another one said

"OK!" The first one said happily

Then unspeakable things happened but remember what happens at Brookhaven stays at brookhaven heh heh

END OF CHAPTER

Another new chapter DAMN I AM QUICK! But please read and reveiw please please. Oh and you are writing a Fiction of your own try this write your story to Weird Al White & Nerdy it is weird pun not intended.

This was boght to you by Wormhole inc. You go in a door and come out of another one...creepy.


	12. Laura is a bitch

**Chapter 12**

**Laura is a bitch**

**Disclaimer: Do not own but the title is true ya'know**

When we last left our stupidly idiotic friend James he had been beaten, knocked out, and raped and was now being drug on a stretch

"James" A femail voice said

"uh" James replied

"James"it said again

"mommy" James said stupidly

"James" it said once more

"Achohol please" James said

"huh?" James said coming to his senses

"Where am I. Am I in the courtyard?" James said answreing his own question

"Yes you are" A very weak voice said

"Where did you go after you were locked in the room?" it asked

"May I ask who is calling" James said

"What?" The voice asked back

"Umm who are you" James said

"It's me Walter this is how I sound after I just got a cheap vesectimy" Walter said

"Why can't I see you?" James asked

"Turn around" Walter said still feeling the effect of the low blow

"oh hi" James said

"Why are you so happy?" Walter said very unhappy

"I feel so much better after that rest" James said still happy

"Well I'm glad because I would HATE FOR YOU TO HAVE BEEN KICKED IN THE BALLS FOR NO REASON!" Walter screamed

"Sorry you know let's just get out of here" James said avoiding conflict

"Lead the way asshole" Walter said

"Speaking of assholes mine hurts real bad" james said complaining

"So that what those happy screams were about earlier they raped him" Walter said under his breath

"What?" James asked

"Nothing" Walter quickly said

"I mean this hurts worse then when we went to the Matrix" James said

(BE) flash back

"Take the blue or the red it is your choice" Morphieus said to james

"What if I ate both of them" James asked

"Oh my god " Morphieus said in fear

"What it's not like... Oh shit I...have" James started to say

"Explosive diahrea" Morphieus said as James ran around a dark room shitting himself

"So uhh trinity was it uhh wanna have sex?" Walter asked

"Mabey if you can beat Neo" Trinity said smirking

"tch.. What kind of lame ass weakling kind of name is Neo Ohhh My name is Neo please leave my Girlfriend alone ha ha" Walter said laughing hysterically when Neo showed up

"Ohh you must be Neo Oh I am so scared you look like a panzy waist" Walter said still laughing

Neo began to run at Walter

(BE) To the present

"Oh yeah I remeber that it was when that little bastard kicked my ass and took one of my kidneys...with his hands" Walter said

"Yep so uhh lets go" James said as he left and walter followed

"Why does everything look different" James asked

"P. head you son of a bitch I told you wait until I had ... killed him first" Walter screamed at the wall

"Kill who?" James said reaching for his gun

"That blue haired bastard that slept with Tifa" Walter said

"Oh" James said putting his gun up

"Hey check that room james...James where did he go all of a suddend" Walter asked reffering to James who had vanished

"Hey I found a battery" James said showing up behind Walter

"Shit" Walter jumped in fright

"Whoa man" James said nervous

"Sorry spooked me a little" Walter said

"Well no shit you just about shot me" James said pointing to the gun in Walters hand

"Let's just go explore the basement" Walter said

"Uhh why" James asked

"Why not?" Walter said

"Damnit I hate it when people do that" James said angry

(BE) TO sephiroth

"Uhh Jenova mommmmmmyyyyyy" Sephiroth said still drowsy

"Uh sephiroth wake up" Steve said

"Ahh" Sephiroth jumped up

"Uhh dude you are bleeding" Steve said

"So that would mean they...they...SAW ME BLEED!" Sephiroth said angerly

"Whoa man use it on them" Steve said

"I am going to kill James that Retarted Son of A Bitch" Sephiroth said

"O...K What ever Just do your Job " Steve said as his voice faded

"Ass hole sees me bleed and thinks he will get away ohh I will get him to" Sephiroth said as his eyes glowed with fire

(BE) TO James

"So what is so speacial about this place anyway" James asked

"What isn't speacial about this place?" Walter asked

"Stop that Jackass" James said

"JAMES!" Screamed someone

"What the" James started to say as ther person Tackeled him

"MARIA!" James screamed

"Why did you leave me" Maria asked angerly

"I was thrown off of the roof" James said

"heeeeeelllllooooooo" Walt said slyly

"Who are you?" Maria asked

"I am Mr. do me right here that's who" Walter said

"Sorry not interested in you" Maria said rejecting him

"WHEN AM I GOING TO GET LAID BY A HOT CHICK!" Walter screamed

"Hey remeber Cybil" James said

"Ohh yeah great butt there" Walter said fanticising

"OOOHHHHHHHOOOOOOHHHH" Came some Moaning

"What the hell?" Walter asked

"I think it was Human" Maria said

"ahh who gives a Damn lets go" James said walking off

"Allright" Walter said following him

"Hey ohh allright" Maria said

As they left Sora climbed out of the basement

"Ouch damn Creatures knocked me out made me fall into the basement and then Rape me ohh Kairi you had better have sex with me when I find you or I swear to god I will kill you" Sora said complaining

(BE) Back to James

"Hey the elevator is Working" James said happily

"Hey James What happened to Fag boy" Maria asked

"Yeah where did he go" Walter thought as well

"Oh shit Kuja" James said stepping onto the Elevator

"Well he couldn't be here or we would have found him by now"

"he he he Trick or treat time" A creepy voice came on the speaker

"Oh damn I hate this show" Walter said

"What the hell?" Maria asked

"On todays show our contestant is... James sunderland" The voice said again

"huh me?" James asked

"Yes you dumbass" It said again

"Hey" James said

"Question 1 What town is this" It said

"uhh silent hill" James asnwered

"Correct!" it screamed as a Pepsi can flew from nowhere ans hit James in the head going 50 Mph

"OWWW WHAT IN THE HELL!" James screamed in pain

"Question 2 Who is in the elevator with you?"

"Walter Sullavain and Maria... uhhm Maria" James said

"Close enough" It said as another can came at the same speed and hit James iin the crotch

"OWWWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWO!" James screamed as he hit the floor

"Last question What is your name James Sunderland?" it asked

"uhhh hmmm Bob" James said

"Oh sorry incorrect " it said as a brick flew and hit James in the face

"OW!" James siad holding his face

"Thank you for playing trick or treat...dipshit" it said leaving

"Are you ok?" Maria asked

"I wasn't going to say anything but, Damnit the was Hillarious Whew good time good times" Walter said wiping off a tear

"Lets just leave" James said limping away

"Hey wait" Maria said chasing James

"Hey where are ya going it was just a joke" Walter said catching up

(BE) 10 minets later

"Where the hell are we?" James asked

"Well according to my map wich I actually picked up we are... in the scret passege way" Walter said

"He...he.. hey guy lo...l...look" Maria Studdered

"ROOAARR" P.head screamed

"Oh about freaking time asshole where have you been"

"mm" he replied

"Answer you me you mute son of a bitch" Walter said

"umm Walter" James said pointing to the spear being raised

"oh uhhh RUN AWAY!" He screamed as he turned and ran Maria and James did as well

"JAMES ANOTHER ELEVATOR LETS GO!" Walter screamed

James got in as Maria tripped James reached down and grabbed her and pulled her in

"Oh James I knew you would save me and one day we will be Married" Maria said

James pushed her out

"JAMES NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" MAria screamed as she was impailed

"Good call" Walter said

"Yeah I know" James said

"Do you have any regrets?" Walter asked

James was silent

"well do you?" He asked

"Hell no lets get out of this damned hospital" James said as the elevator door opened

"Way ahead of ya" Walter said

They exited the front door of the hospial on their way to an even bigger challenge

END OF CHAPTER

Wow longer chapter well kiddies read and reveiw please and please read and reveiw the new aske sephiroth it would make someones day.


	13. James goes to jail

Chapter 13

James goes to jail

Maria had just been impaled by P.head and James and Walter had just left the Hospital.

"Man" Walter said

"Do you miss Maria?" James asked as they walked down the now dark street

"Who...Oh the whore, No I was going to kill her myself when we were out of here." Walter said

"Funny so was I" James said smiling

"I wanna know why P.head attacked us like that" Walter thought

"well you did sleep with his girlfreind...twice" James said

"So she was hot" Walter said remembering

"Well you also tried to castrate him when we were all drunk" James added

"He wouldn't have felt it and plus everything that touches it dies" Walter said

"Good point" James said

"Hey you also made him fail his English class because you Duct taped him to the bed" Walter said

"Hey he said he was strong how was I supposed to know he was a panzy" James said

"Why did he hang out with us any way?" Walter asked

"Who the hell knows" James said

(BE) Flash back

"Where's my money huh where is it" A little kid said

"OW please let me give it to you tomorrow" James said pleading

He was getting beat up by a Pre schooler and so was Walter

"Hey I don't even owe you money you diaper shitter" Walter said

"Thats it" THe other kid said Tackiling Walter and Began to whoop his ass

"NOO PLEASE" Walter pleaded

"Hey Leave these guys alone you thumb sucking bastards" P.head said running up but without the Helmet he was the most attractive man you ever seen...I'm straight by the way.

"Hey thanks sir but who are you?" James asked bleeding

"Jim" He said

"Ok" James said passing out

(BE) to the Present

"Hey if he had no helmet how did he get it on his head?" Walter asked

"That was my fault" James said looking at the ground

"What did you do?" Walter asked

"Well you remember when I had lady problems and he helped me meet Maria" James said

"Yeah" Walter answered

"Well he put that helmet on so he could talk to her and She couldn't see his face but I had put super glue on it and it was stuck permently" James said

"Oh and the woman he picked out was a total bitch" James said

"Yes Mary was" Walter said

"But one thing I don't get how did it get stuck Glue wears off eventually" Walter said

"No permanant Glue is eternal You will die with it" James said

"Well thank god I am already dead you know the whole spoon thing" Walter said pointing to his neck

"Why did you do that any way" James asked

"That other prisinor umm who was it Oh yeah Richard Braintree Left an Open Permanent Marker An I sniffed it Way to long. I am going to fry that Bastard one day" Walter said

"Uhh Walter" James said

"Yes" Walter replied

"you do know where he lives right" James said

"No thats the problem I don't know where he lives but when I find him I will fry that son of a bitch" Walter screamed

"He lives in our apartment Actually across from us" James said

(BE) to sora

"Damn where the Hell is Kairi I am about to say screw it leave and have SexWith Namine wait she is with Kairi Damn" Sora said Walking down the street

"SON OF A BITCH"He heard Walter scream all of the way across town

"Damn that guy must be pissed" Sora said with a chuckle

"Hello Sora" Sephiroth said

"Oh you again what the hell do you want" Sora said

"I need my sword back" Sephiroth said

"Fine take it it is to long anyway" Sora said handing him Masume and getting the keyblade

"Thanks I won't kill you until last and it will be swift" Sephiroth said Vanishing

"O.k...Wait Death what" Sora said

"Hey a sign Silent Hill Prison hmm Hey it's Kairi standing in th window I am coming Kairi!" Sora screamed as he ran to the prison

(BE) To James

"Whoa man Don't freak out on me now" James said moving away from Walter

"Must...Kill...Braintree" Walter said in a fury

"Well wait until we get home now where do we go" James asked

"Well the only other place is the Historical society" Walter said Studying the Map

"What could possible be in there?" James asked

"I don't know mabey it is a strip club or something mabey it is a gay bar let's take a gamble and go" Walter said Walking off

"If it is the Gay bar I am not going in" James yelled following Walter

as they crossed the street and arrived at their destination

"Oh damn the door is locked and according to this map I picked up the key is back at Rose water park"

"Screw that" Walter said Kicking in the Door

"Why did you do that!" James yelled

"What it's not like there are magical police cars that arrest you when you do somthing wrong" Walter said walking inside

"Don't be so sure" James said looking for those police

"Well there ain't shit in here" Walter said looking around

"Hey look at this picture" James said

"What" Walter said

"It's those things that attacked me in the Hospital" James said

"You mean raped you" Walter said

"Huh"

"Nothing" Walter said

"Holy shit look at that" James said in surprise

"What...Damn" Walter said

it was A big hole in the wall

"Well we have nothing better to do you wanna investigate" Walter asked

"Do we have a choice" James said

"I would like to think we do but no" Walter said walking inside

"Oh goody stairs" James said

(BE) 10 Minets later

"Damn these stairs are long" Walter said

"no shit really how much further is it" James asked

"Can't tell" Walter said

(BE) 2 hours later

"Damn how much farther" Walter complained

"Think I'm just to white and nerdy, think I'm just to white and Nerdy" James sang

"UHH how much further can we go" Walter complained

(BE)4 Hours later

"Think I'm just to... AWW my battery died" James sobbed

"Thank god it is over that song gets really annoying"Walter said in disgust

"you just mad because you arn't White and Nerdy" James said smiling

"SO freaking what" Walter screamed

"this reminds me of college Walter" James said

"Yeah it kind of does" Walter said

"WALTER LOOK!" James screamed and pointed

"LAND!!! WE ARE AT THE BOTTOM!" Walter screamed laying down and kissing the ground

"Well let's keep moving" James said very creeped out

"Why the hell are we in a sewer" Walter said

"Hey you are the one who said we should come down here" James said

"Well excuse me for sending us into the shitter" Walter said sarcastically

"I wonder what is behind this door" Jame said

"well check it out I will gaurd the door" Walter said

"Allright" James said

"So I don't get raped" Walter said standing outside

"Oh shit" James said

"What" Walter yelled

"My flashlight went out and even though I can see where the handle is I can't open the door" James said

"Well use that battery you found back at the hospital" Walter yelled again

"Good idea" James said

Pop...click...click

"Allrig OH MY GOD"James screamed

"What is it" Walter yelled

"It is a number pad oh very scary oh and the room is full of cockroaches" James said

"Hey try the number 000" Walter yelled

"That won't work twice bud" James said punching in the number

"Son of a bitch it worked again" James said in disbelief

"Hah told you so" Walter said as James emerged from the room

"So What I bet it wont work agaiiiiiiinnnnnnn" James screamed as he fell in a hole

"Had that one totally planned out" Walter said jumping in

"Ouch how did you land on your feet?" James said

"Why didn't you land on your feet" Walter said smirking

"Screw you" James said getting up to his feet

"Well James we are trapped" Walter said

"one thing I want to know how did I fall off of the roof and almost die but I fall down here and not even get hurt" James said confused

"I know I don't get it either" Walter said

"Well what are we going to do now?" James put his hand on the wall

Crack

Crush

"Good thinking James" walter said

"for what?" James asked as Walter went through the newly opened door

"another hole" James said

"yep" Walter said

"Lets Juuummmpppp" James screamed

"hey an elevator is coming down"

"Where is Walter at" James wondered

"whistle whislte" Walter whistled

"where did the elevator come from?" James asked

"From above I guess" Walter answered

"Guess what" James said

"What?" Walter asked

"another hole" James said

"so" Walter said

"your jumping first" James said

"O.k hey James what is that shiny thing in front of the hole" Waltewr said

"WHERE!" James screamed getting next to the hole

Walter pushed him in

"SCCCCCRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW YYYYOOUUUU!!!" James screamed on his way down

"Damn I need to stop taking advantage of his mental handicap" Walter chuckled as he jumped in

When he crashed and burned

"I knew I would see you again" A voice said

"Hey your that fatass from earlier" Walter said

"The name is Eddie" Eddie said

"Whatever fatass" James said

"Hey James I still have that key" Eddie said

"Tha's O.K Fatass" James said

"Eddie" eddie said annoyed

"Hey Fatass where did that Dead body come from?" Walter asked

"I have no clue I didn't do it" eddie said defensivly

"You seem pretty nervous Fatass" James said smirking

"Screw you guys I am leaving" eddie said

"Oh don't cry Fatass" Walter said laughing

"Oh and by the way I have been hearing weird Hyuk Hyuk noises" Fatas..I mean Eddie said

"Where are we Fatass" Walter asked

"SILENT HILL PRISON" Eddie said very dramatically as he left

"Oh no Not the Wait what did he say" Walter said

"the prison I think" James said

"Oh shit"Walter said

"What?" James said

"This is where I stabbed myself with the spoon" Walter said in fear

END OF CHAPTER

Long chapter eh Well you know the drill so please read and reveiw.


	14. Do I have to

Chapter 14

Do I have to

Disclaimer: Own nothing...Seriously

The song let's get it started is heard

"Man this is a great christmas party james" Walter said dancing

"No shit sherlock I told you" James said

"Hey who is the D.J.?" Walter asked

"Kuja" James said

"Word up yo"Kuja said

"o.k" Walter said

"Hey james will you dance with me?" Maria asked

"Hell no I am afraid if I touch you I will get some sort of s.t.d" James said repulsed

"What about me James" Angela asked

"I Think you are to ugly" James said

"What about me james" Laura asked

"I just plain hate you" James said glairing at Laura

"What the hell are you doing?" Me the author said

"Having a party" James said happily

"Yeah lighten up derek" Laura said

"Hey thats Darkcomet to you bitch" I said

"Ohhh you got told" James said

"Shut up james you are pertying with a dead woman" I said

"Oh who cares it's christmas" James said

"Well I am evil santa so get your ass back to work slave" I demanded

"do I have to" James said crying knowing I had his freedom in my hands

"Can we have the party afterwards?" Walter asked

"Mabey" I said

"I want it now though" James whined

"If you get back to work I will give you a 1,000 dollar christmas bonus" I said

"O.k let's go" James said as him and Walter ran back to prison

"Are you really going to give them the money?" Kuja asked

"Hell no, you get the bonus though" I said

"sweet" Kuja said

(BE) back to the story

"I stabbed myself here this is where I died don't you understand!" Walter said in terror

"no actually I think you are retarded" James said

"Who are you talking to like that james" Walter said

"all's i'm asking is why are you afraid of this place" James said

"I...don't...know" Walter said finally understanding the conundrum

"Can we just move on?" James said annoyed

"Don't forget james you are my slave" Walter said

"Screw you buddy" James said leaving

"Wait don't leave me here"Walter pleaded

(BE) to sora

"Damn this place was more inviting on the outside, wait what the hell am I saying I hate this whole damn town" Sora said annoyed

"Soooooooorrrrrrrraaaaaaaaa" a moan was hear

"Kairi?" Sora asked

"Maaaaaaabbbbbbeeeeeeyyyy" it said again

"allright quit screwing around and let's go" Sora said frustrated

"I am naaaaaaaakkkkkeeeeeeedddddddd" it said again

"as I was saying stay put and I will be right there" sora said skipping twords it

WHAM!

"OWW what the hell" a voice said

"Hey aren't you sora" another voice said

"who wants to know?" Sora said

"Well you just knocked out james so I suppose you must be Sora" Walter said

"Oh sorry" Sora apologized

"You son of a bitch" James said getting back to his feet

"Didn't you guys hear the moan saying it was naked it was Kairi" Sora said excited

"uhhhh what?" James said

"dude what are you smoking cause I want some" Walter said

"I heard it so screw you allright" Sora said angry

"whatever crack head" Walter said

"ah to hell with you" Sora said angry

"Well screw you to" Walter said

"Umm ok" James said

"Stupid asshole telling me what I heard" Sora said walking down a cell block

Hyuk

"that was weird" Sora said

Hyuk Hyuk

"Huh...oh well" Sora said leaving

(BE) to James in the other cell block

"I think I hear breathing" James said

"I do to but i don't see it" Walter said

"well I woner if it is a...AHHHHH!" James screamed

"hi" Kuja said happily

"Kuja how in the hell did you get here" James asked

"Magic" Kuja said

"Hey your are that guy I was going to kill" Walter said

"Why?" Kuja asked

"I don't remember" Walter said

"But what happened on the roof" James asked

" I saw a guy named steve who tried to turn me against you but I said no" Kuja said

"Then what happened" Walter asked intrigued

"He said take him and the last thing I remember I heard a Hyuk noise then I woke up here...Hey where is the bitch?" Kuja asked

"Oh she's dead" Walter said

"Did either of you...?" Kuja started to ask

"no P.head killed her" James said

"ohh good then I don't want to be a witness to a court case" Kuja said

"Well to bad because if things go my way there is going to be a dead bitch named Mary"James said

"same here, I am going to kill my brother that bastard"Kuja said angry as he burst out of the cell

"Damn how did you do that" James said amazed

"Magic" Kuja said smiling

"Hey do you still have the shotgun?" James asked

"Yeah stupid bastards forgot to search me" Kuja said pulling out the weapon in question

"Just like those stupid bastards forgot to search me for that damned spoon" Walter said

"But you cherish the spoon" Kuja said

"How the hell do you know" Walter snapped

"I can read your mind, by the way she is a whore" Kuja said

"ohh well she uhhh Eileen uhh" Walter said blushing

"Eww Eileen galvin you sick bastard" James said running off

"James come on she is a little hot" Walter hollared after him

"Mabey I should have mentioned who steve was oh well" Kuja thought as he ran after them

"Nasty son of a bitch" James said exahausted

"Like you wouldn't"Walter said

"NO!" James screamed

"I would" Kuja said

"Nobody asked you" Walter said

"hey where are we?" James asked

"I don't know" Walter said confused

"We are in the courtyard" Kuja said

"How do you know" Walter said

"Let me guess, Magic" James said

"No it is the only outside room" Kuja said

"Good point" James said

"hey guys why are there three nooses hanging there"Walter said

"I think steve is sending us a message" Kuja said

"Who the hell is steve!" James screamed

" A bad guy" Kuja said

"Oh real helpful" Walter said inspecting the nooses

"anything" James asked

"Super glue, A door knob, A sledgehammer,a detailed strategy guide for Silent hill 2...nothing worth looking at" Walter said

"Oh well" Kuja said

"Wait might need these" Walter said reaching for the Door knob and the super glue

"good choice" Kuja said

"yeah what the hell is Silent hill 2" James said

(BE) To sora

"O.k the only room I haven't searched yet" Sora said in anticipation

"we can have a threeeeeeeee wayyyyyyyyyyy"it moaned again

"Oh hell yeah bring it on Kairi and namine" Sora said as he opened the door

HYUK

"Oh shit it's you" Sora screamed as he passed out

(BE) that was pointless back to james

"Hey guys I found something" James said looking at the floor

"it looks like a trap door but it is missing a handle" Kuja said

"I'ts hopeless then we can't get in there unless" James said

"Let's split up" Walter said

"I was going to say that you son of a bitch!" James screamed as they split up

(BE) 10 Minets later back at the same place

"Hey guys what did you find" James said

"A lighter" Walter said

"A horseshoe" Kuja said

"I found a wax dildo" James said pulling it out

"James...buddy...That is a wax doll" Kuja said

"Ewwww" Walter said

"Then that guy in the pictures was using it wrong" James said

"EWWWWW!" Walter said

"So how are these going to help us" James asked

(BE) 1 hour later

"I've got it!" James screamed

"We could use the lighter to melt the wax doll into the crack and stick the horseshoe in it until it dries and use it for a handle. Score one for James" James said figuring it out

"Yeah james we figured it out about 55 Minuets ago we have been sitting here waiting for the wax to dry" Walter said

"Yeah you even saw us melt the wax" Kuja said

"Well let's just go down" James said pulling the handle and going in expecting there to be stairs

there wasn't

"Damn do you think that will hurt" Kuja asked

"nah We had to jump earlier" Walter said

"O.k" Kuja said as they both jumped

"Hey guys we are in a morgue" James said looking at the dead bodies

"Hmm dead people excellent" Walter said

"I think I'm gonna puke" Kuja said standing in the corner

"Another hole" James said as he jumped in

"at first I thought he had A.D.D but now I just think he is an idiot" Kuja said

"I know" Walter said

"Hey guys another hole" James said jumping in

"Jesus how many of these things are there" Walter said

(BE)20 holes later

"AHH MAKE IT STOP" Walter screamed

"Walter we have been at the bottom for about 20 minuets you have just been freaking out" Kuja said

"Oh well then where are we?" Walter asked clue less

"WE CLOME TO HEEL" James tried to read

"it says welcome to Hell" Kuja said

"Well rather inviting huh" Walter said

"Let's go" James said as they entered

"Hey james dosn't this look like the decorating on your walls" Walter asked

"yes actually it does" James asked

"That's weird" Kuja said

"It is a dead end" Walter said

"Hey guy's there is a ladder over here" James said

"Well let's go down" Walter said

"Eww it stinks in here" Kuja said as they climbed down

"That is because I have shit myslef at least 3 times since I have been here" James said

"Thank god you wear diapers for adults" Walter said

"Oh shit" James said

"Not again James have some control" Kuja said

"uhhhhhhhhhhhh" P.head said

"Oh him" Kuja said

"RUNRUNRUNRURNRUN!" Walter screamed as they ran

they came out behind him

"UHHHHHHH" He screamed

"IN THE DOOR" Kuja screamed

SLAM

"That was close too close" Kuja said

"Whew now what" Walter said

"Hey guys look at this" James said

"Holy" Kuja said

"Shit" Walter finished

"I know it is a bigass sword" James said

they watched in amazement as James somehow stuffed it into his pocket

"I have said this one and I will say it again thank god for stuff that dosn't make sense" James said

"That is more amazing than when we found out about that horseshoe doll puzzle earlier as a handle" Wlater said

"yeah about that I just remembered we had the super glue and the door knob it was in my pocket" James said

"James remind me to kill you later" Walter said as they left and climbed up a ladder

"Hey guys where did P.head go" Kuja asked

"UHHHHHHHHHH" P.head screamed

"EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!" James screamed as they ran

"AHHH WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!" Walter screamed

"WALTER LOOK OUT!" Kuaj scremed as he and walter crashed into a metal wall they had even climbed a ladder

"Why are we in a room that looks like a cube" walter asked

"Hey guy's look at this face cube it moves I am going to spin it like mad" James said

"Whatever dumbass" Walter said

"Wait a cube that rotates...JAMES NO!" Kuja screamed as James span thething around like mad

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kuja and Walter screamed

"Oh crap" James said

The cube span for about 3 minets

When it finally stopped James walked inside

"Hey guys sorry" James said

They were passed out form dizziness

"Hey another door I'll be back" James said

After james had descended some stairs

"hello James" A female voice said

"Oh shit Maria" James said

"What was that" Marai said angry

"WHAT THE HELL MARIA YOU WERE FREAKING STABBED TO DEATH!" James yelled

"Stabbed, all you did is throw me out of the elevator" Maria said confused

"That still dosn't explain how you got Here in this prison cell" James said actually saying something smart

"well you still have to get me out" Maria said

"Screw you bitch you are staying in there away from me" James said

"What james" Maria said angry

"You heard me You are staying in there you walking S.T.D mart" James said

"You son of a bitch!" Maria yelled as james walked off

As james reached the cube again

"Hello James Hyuk" a voice said

"Wait you are" James started to say in shock

"That's right it's meHyuk Goofy" Goofy said

"Who now?" James said

"They always said my name last now you don't even know my name Jesus you Hyuk are a freaking Moron" Goofy said

"...Who is this" James said

"It dosn't matter I have them Hyuk" Goofy stepped sideways to reveal Sora, Kuja, Walter And a reheaded and blonde girl

"You Bitch" James said

"Actually Hyuk I am a male Dog" Goofy said pulling out his gun

"Well you are about to be a dead dog" James said as he charged goofy

The grappled over the gun in the center of ther room As goofy took James to the Ground

"Hahahahahahaa Now die you stupid son of Hyuk a bitch" Goofy said as he pulled the trigger

Nothing

James reached into his pocket and pulled out his gun when Goofy's didn't fire

"Why, " Goofy said "Why Hyuk didn't it Fire" Goofy said to himself

"It works better with the saftey off" James said Aiming his Gun

"MAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXXXXXXXXX!" Goofy screamed

BANG

"See you in hell you stupid dog" James said

"uhhh what happened" Sora said getting up

"Sora!" James screamed happily

"Is that goofy with a bullet hole in his head?" Sora asked

"Ow" Walter said getting up

"Oh shit it's like I am in saw or something with a dead body in the middle of the room" Kuja said

"SORA!" Kairi Screamed

"Kairi" Sora screamed as they ran to each other for a loving embrace

"How cheesie" Walter said

"Yeah" Another voice agreed

"Huh" Walter turned around. He saw the most beautiful woman he had ever seen

"Hi" She said

"Hey" Walter said

"What is your name" She asked

"Walter, Walter sullavin" He said

"Namine" She said

"Are you the one who saved me?" She asked

"Actually" James started to say

"James SHUT UP! yes it was me I killed that bastard" Walter said

"Then you deserve this" She started to make out with Walter

"Wat a way to end a story" Kuja said

" HEY I AM STILL HERE ASSHOLE MARY IS STILL ALIVE!" James said

"Sorry James I forgot. You guys need to get out of here we need to find his wife I will call you baby" Walter said

"allright come on Namine" Sora said as they left

"huh I think I am in love" Walter said

"Oh snap out of it Walter" James said annoyed

"Right where to james" Walter said

"I think Mary isn't here in this town James: Kuja said

"She is and I know where to" James said

"Where then" Walter said

"Our speacial place... The Hotel" James said

"Why didn't you think of this earlier you dumbass" Kuja said

"I was never asked where we should go" James said

(BE) To sora

"well we need to get out of here" Sora said

"I know" Kairi said clinging to Sora

"Hey sora is that a freind of yours" Namine asked pointing at some one

One winged angel starts to play

"It is I Sephiroth" He said

"Oh shit what do you want?" Sora said

"My master steve needs your help to kill james" Sephiroth said

"well to bad I owe James my life so Steve can shove it" Sora said

"Very well. HEARTLESS ANGEL!" Sephiroth screamed

everything went dark for sora

(BE) To the other trio

"Hey James do you know where you are going" Kuja asked

"Nope But I hope it is the way out" James said

"mmmm" Walter moaned

What is it?" Kuja asked

"I have that bad feeling again" Walter said

"Or mabey you have the flu you dipshit" James said

"I don't know but thing might get worse from here on out for us" Walter said

"Ahhh you are full of it everyone is either dead or gone noone is here to bother us except steve" james said

(BE) to a place

"oh my god I have killed again why can I not control myself I Hope I don't see any one else I might kill them too"

END OF CHAPTER

WOW long chapter but it is up fast so read and reveiw


	15. I am idiot man

Chapter 15

I am am idiot man

When we had last heard of James he was in the Laberyinth (spelling oh well) after just killing goofy

"Hey james how long have we been walking?" Kuja whined

"about 2 hours" Walter said

"Oh well shoot I had a hair appointment" Kuja whined again

"Well I don't care we are moving on up the ladder" James said

"Where the hell did the Ladder come from?" Kuja asked

"I don't know" James said confused

"Well let's climb it I have to see Namine again" Walter said in determination

"Do you think he knows that she is underage?" Kuja asked

"Well he is as stupid as me...wait smarter than me" James said

"no argument here" Kuja said

"AHHHHHHHH" they heard a scream when they reached the top of the ladder

"Hey I have an idea James" Walter said

"What?" James asked

"Open the door and look inside"Walter said

"Why?" James asked

"So I can push you in there and lock the door and make you deal with anything inside" Walter said

"ok" James said opening the door and looking inside"hey wait a min." He was interrupted when Walter pushed him inside

"Holy Shit!" James screamed

"ROOOAAARRR" screamed a monster

"THE FREAKING MONA LISA IS TRYING TO KILL ME!" James screamed

"Roar?" It roared

"I MUST KILL DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEIDE!!!!" James screamed as he beat it with his wooden plank...OF TERROR (hmm sorry)

"ALL I WANTED IS TO BE LOVED!" it screamed as it died

"Yes score one for me" James said

"so you defeated our monster" James heard 2 voices say in unison

"Wait no it can't be" James said in sheer terror

they stepped out of the shadows

"Olsen twins" James said

"Now now James we have only come to punish you for making our master angry" The olsen twins said

"who that bastard steve that I don't know about" James said

"No, he is only a puppet to our master we beleive you heared a disimbodied voice on the top of the hospital earlier?" they asked

"So what are you trying to tell me some raging girly souding man is holding my wife captive so that I can't kill her?" James asked angry

"What the Hell are you talking about you dumbass" They said

"Well you know what up yours" James said pulling out his gun and busting some caps in some asses

"We will se you in hell james" they said bursting in to flames

"ok see ya there I can't wait" James said leaving the room

"so what was in there?" Kuja asked

"A demonic portrait of the mona lisa and the olsen twins" James said

"Did they say anything?" Walter asked

"No just girl talk I could not understand" James said

(BE) a few moments ago in James Eye

"hjsdzhgusdghsdfghshgsu" the olsen twins said

"so what" James said

"heeeebebebebebebeeb" they said again

"I am a girly man" James said

"ahiffhihfirhgodhoufhod" they spoke again

"allright see you there" James said

(BE) to the present

Walter and Kuja look at James in a very weird way

"And that's how it happened" James said smiling

"uhh James good buddy what in the name of all that is holy did you just say?" Walter asked

"I am so confused" Kuja screamed holding his head

"can we just move?" James asked

"THE WORLD ISN'T RIGHT ANYMORE!" Kuja screamed

"i know I know let's just go" Walter said holding kuja

"Hey another room guys" James exclaimed

"Jesus what now" Walter said annoyed

"Holy sweet mother of Jenova" Kuja said amazed

"Hey Walter" James said

"Yes James?" Walter replied

"Why are there?" James started to say

"I don't know James" Walter said

"I think they are criminals" Kuja said

"Oh thank god I thought they were religous sacrifice victims" James said

"James I would love to live in you world for just 10 minets" Kuja said

"yeah" Walter said

"Well...I am going to chop them up" James said

"Leave some for me" Walter said pulling 2 saws from nowhere

"O.K I am just going to explore" Kuja said leaving

"Oh well more fun for us then" James said with glee

"ohh I don't want to see what they do to those bodies" Kuja shuddered as he walked into another room

"hmm what is this a note" Kuja said

"I have to leave all my vicitms hanging in this room or steve gets pissed. I wonder why he acts like he has to impress our leader personally I think he is gay. But who the hell knows all I know is if someone messes with my killing spree victims they are going to get it.

Sephiroth"

"Oh shit sephiroths corpse den But why are there only nooses in here." Kuja inspected

there was a note on all of the nooses it said

"Reserved For..."

"Oh shit better warn James" Kuja said running back to the other room

"Hey guys I OH SWEET JESUS" Kuja screamed

there was blood guts and other things...everywhere

"Hey Kuja why are you so freaked out" James said

"You are in Sephiroths body den and a note said if his the bodys are disturbed he is going to do terrible things to us"Kuja said very scared

"oh then we better sceedaddle" Walter said covered in blood

"Why did you cut the bodys anyway" Kuja asked

"not now" James said running out the door

"oh no a gate is blocking us" Walter said

"Screw that" James said

"FIRE3" Kuja yelled

the gate spontaniously combusted

"Damn how the hell" James asked

"Magic" Kuja said smiling

"Damn that is getting old Kuja" Walter said

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN HERE WHO CUT UP MY DEAD BODIES!" They heard a yell

"Move man move down the ladder" Walter said pushing James down the ladder and jumping in

"AHHH" Kuja screamed as he jumped in as well

"Umph" Walter said as he reached the bottom

"Oh sweet jesus" James said

"What?" Kuja asked

"this door it looks like the door on the other side of the cell" James said in terror

"What cell?" Walter asked confused

"While you guys were knocked out I moved on and found Maria alive and well trapped in a cell" James said

"Did you mean to rhyme right there?" Kuja asked

"yes I did" James said

"so what happened?" Walter asked

"I called her a bitch and left her there" James said

"oh well go one in James" Kuja said

"O.K here goes" James said heading in

"M...Ma...Maria" James said terrified

"No" a voice answered back

"then who" James asked

"it's me Angela" Angela said

"OH SHIT THAT IS EVEN WORSE" James screamed

"Why don't you love me James" she pleaded with him

"Because you are ugly and probably going to chop off my private area in the middle of the night" James said backing up

"you love her right?" Angela said clearly in a weird state of mind

"Who?" James said up against the wall

"That Whore over there" Angela pointed to Maria who had her throat slit

"Now I am the only one for you James" She said again

"You Bitch" James said pushing her away

"I was going to kill her...again" James said

"Make love to me James" Angela said taking off her clothes

"LET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE" James screamed and ran out of the room

"What is wrong James" Kuja asked him

"Crazy huuu Bitch uhh tried uhhh to uhh rape me" James said out of breath

"Wouldn't be the first time today" Walter said

"what?" James asked

"nothing" Walter said slyly

"hey James we found an unlocked door we could have skipped that whole thing" Kuja said happily

"You...son...of...a...BITCH!" James screamed as he tackled Kuja and tried to strangle him

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH OH RICH!!" Walter laughed as James got up and tackled him as well

"WHO'S LAUGHING NOW BITCH!" James yelled

"James calm down and lets just go...in a few minets" Kuja said enjoying watching James strangle walter

(BE) ten minets later

"So why are we in a grave yard" Kuja asked

"I don't know" Walter answered

"Hey walter you know you were buried in an unmarked grave so no one could grave rob you or rape you?" James asked walter

"Yeah" Walter said

"well come look at this" James said

"What is it?" Walter asked looking at a grave that read

Here lies Walter Sullavin the biggest homo who ever lived

"NOW WHO THE HELL DID THIS!" Walter screamed pulling out his guns

"I WILL FIND YOU YOU SON OF A BITCH! I KNOW IT WAS YOU RICHARD I WILL KILL YOU, YOU GRAVE ROBBING NECROPHELIAC!" Walter screamed shooting everywhere

"Hey kuja we have graves too" James said

"What?" Kuja asked

"look" James said pointing

Here lies James he is a dumbass

Here lies Kuja he is my bitch

"Now who wrote this" Kuja said angry

"I know what is a doomass" James said

"it say dumbass you dumbass" Kuja said

"Oh well let's jump in Kuja, COME ON WALTER!" James hollared

"Ok" Walter said jumping in

"Uhh another hallway" James said

"Can we just go I want to get as far away from my old body" Walter said

"But Walter didin't we dig that thing up about three years ago?" James asked

"Oh yeah where did we leave it?" Walter asked

"I don't remember" James said

"Well let's go inside the door" Kuja said as they reached the door

"Ohh shit you again fatass" Walter said

"Eddie did you" James started to ask

"Yes James I killed him and I am sorry I know it was wrong" eddie said

"so you admit it" James said starting to anger

"Hey james me and you are alike we kill people so don't get holy on me" Eddie said

"I know we are alike but You are Killing MY Victims you fat peice of shit" James said

"Hey who are you calling a fat peice of shit you raging homo" Eddie screamed

"at least I am not a 40 year old virgin" James screamed back

"real battle of wits going on here eh Walter" Kuja said to Walter

"hey if they fight my money is on Fatass" Walter said

"your on" Kuja said

"You little I am going to beat you up" Eddie said

"Raping me isn't beating me up lard ass" James said

"Thats it you are going down bitch" Eddie screamed as he puched James

"that all you got you homo" James said

"AHHH" Eddie screamed as he hit James across the face

James hit the ground

When James got back up

"how can you hope to kill me James" Eddie said confident

"I will just Have to take it up to a new level" James said smirking

(insert Dragon ball Z Super sayian 3 music if you have never heard it then think kickass transformation music"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" James screamed

"What are you doing" Eddie said in shock

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" James screamed as his hair began to grow longer

"that's it super sayian three" James said in a deep voice

"Hey james Wake up!" Walter yelled

"hmm" James said

when James came to he was on the ground and in a meat locker

"what happened?" James asked getting up

"Oh eddie knocked you on your ass with the second puch we have been shhoting at him in here" Kuja said

"James just to ask what were you taking to the next level?" Walter asked

"Nothing" James said pulling out his gun

"Ahh we will never hit him this way!" Kuja screamed

"I have an idea...HEY FATASS THERE IS A HAMBURGER FIVE STEPS LEFT OF YOU!" James screamed

"Where" Eddie screamed and dove out after it

BANG

James shot and hit eddie in the head

"another point for James" James said happily as he left the meat locker

"Holy shit it's daytime" Walter said looking out into the fog

"Well here I come Mary I am going to finaly end this" James thought

"Hey guys let's take the row boat" Kuja said jumping in

"allright everyone time for my song" James said as they shoved off

(insert Iron man)

"I am Idiot Man" James began to sing

"He has lost his mid he can't see but he's not blind" Walter began to join

"James where to"Kuja said interrupting

"The Hotel" James said looking through the fog

END OF CHAPTER

getting awfuly close to the end here just 2 or 3 more chapters but I have a surprise for afterwards for all of you faithful readers as long as you keep reveiwing.


	16. Winding down

Chapter 16

Winding down

Disclaimer:Forgot it last time but uhh own nothing

"Row Row Row your boat gently down the stream" James sang

"Hey walter umm I need to ask you something" Kuja said

"What?" Walter said

"About you killing yourself why?" Kuja said

"I allready told you I was High on marker" Walter said

"I don't believe you" Kuja said

"Alright fine Jesus I spent 1 year coming up with this story and I have to tell the truth now huuok" Walter started

"I was in jail and the marker was capped so I was kind of buzzed but then I saw the spoon I looked at it" Walter started to say

(BE) Flashback

"Whoa man I can see the wind" Walter said buzzed

"Hey you little bitch watch it you might step on me!" someone screamed

"who said that" Walter said alerted

"me" it said again

"who" Walter said looking around

"look down dipshit" it said again

"I don't see you all I see is this spoon with a mouth" Walter said

"that's me" the spoon said

"Well I'll be damned this is the weirdest thing I have ever seen since I showered with Bubba" Walter said

"ewww don't need to hear about that but can you do something for me" the spoon said

"sure anything for a talking spoon" Walter said

"ok I need you to hide me so I can attack this bastard Richard that also stays here here" Walter said

"Oh him yeah He will be back in about an hour so can I ask you how can you talk?" Walter asked

"I am not really a spoon I am a person and I have been turned into a spoon by richards voodo grandma for sleeping with her and not calling" it said

"so what does Richard have to do with it?" Walter asked

"if I spill his familyies blood on me I will be normal again" the spoon says

"Oh I hear him you want me to stab him with...er...you" Walter asked

"yes that would be good" the spoon said as its mouth dissapeared

"sup' bitch" Richard said

"Hey Richard nice workout" Walter asked nervously

"Why the hell do you need to know now assume the position" Richard said to Walter with a stern voice

"No" Walter said in fear

"What was that donut" Richard said

Walter reached for the spoon

"What are you going to do with that" Richard said laughing

"Well I was going to do this" Walter said stabbing himself in the throat and starting to bleed

"Haha You stupid Bastard you deserve to die, Hey we have a 108 officer down" Richard said...even though they were prisinors

thats when walter was buried alive

(BE) to the present

"and that is how it happened" Waler said

"Somehow walter I still do not believe you" Kuja said

"Why not?" Walter asked

"It is a talking spoon not even james is stupid enough to belive that" Kuja said

"yeah not even James is stupid en...hey wait a minuet." James said

"What it's true" Kuja said

"It actually makes sense" James said

"What!" Kuja said very skeptic

"Well I used to hear Walter talking everynight in the bathroom about stabbing real hard I thought he was some sort of Pervert waiting to rape me" James started to say

"as if that already hasn't happened" Walter said under his breath

"What, Why is it when I bring up rape you always say something, do you know something that I don't" James said

"No why would I know something about you getting raped by those creatures who attacked you in the hospital" Walter said

"Oh ok" James said

"Any way you were saying james" Kuja said

"I always wondered what Walter was doing " James said

"James mabey he was planning to rape you" Kuja said

"No he's right I was talking to Bill" Walter said

"Bill?" James asked

"Yes he is here" Walter said

"Oh I gotta see this" Kuja said

"allright" Walter said as he reached in his pocket

"Here he is" Walter said holding a very polished spoon

"Walter Pal that is a very nice spoon but I don't think it is smart enough to talk" Kuja said

"Hey fruit cup are you calling me stupid" a voice was heard

"Oh you got to be kidding me" Kuja said

"Yeah thats right I can talk I just choose not to alot" Bill said

"uhh are you real" James asked

"No dumbass I am fake You are asleep and dreming I am real" Bill said

"oh goody cause if there was a talking spoon I would just freak out" James said

"allright bill time to go back into the pocket" Walter said

"allright you mother" Bill started to say

"Spit fire aint he" Kuja said

"Walter I finaly see why you killed yourself because bill is an asshole" Kuja said

"Hey guys a light" James said pointing North

"Thank god cause' if we were out on the Water any longer I would have killed you all" Walter said

"O.k let's just get out" Kuja said as they reached the dock

"Hey james has this place changed any" Walter asked

"Nope at least I don't think anyway" James said

"Hey Walter go check that fountain out" Kuja said

"Allright but I need cash" Walter said

"For What? You are allready dead" Kuja said

"Oh right I will do this for free then" Walter said heading for the fountain

"Ok I think this fountain is...Normal oh hey look a mermaid toy not much use but eh why not pick it up anyway could be useful" Walter said to himself

"find anything" James screamed

"Just a mermaid toy but we might need it it won't be the first time we forgot to use something we needed...I am talking to you james" Walter said

"Well let's get inside" Kuja said

"Oh great deserted just like everthing else here how did this town become so deserted any way" James said

(BE) 50 years ago

"Boy I hope I don't drop this vile of the black plauge in the sink so that it circulates and people die" A scientist said

he did it though

"Oh shit this is not going to be good and I don't want to be around when it hits" the scientist said running off

(BE) present day

"Ritzy place how did you afford to stay here james" Walter asked

"I robbed my dad" James said

"Oh ok" Walter said

"Hey james there is a letter for you" Kuja said

"Really! What does it say" James asked

"Dear mr. Sunderland you stupid moronic idiot you screwed up the room, got drunk and streaked around the hotel screaming I am Tarzan. and also you left your video of God knows what in the room it is here at the Hotel so come get it bitch.

Sincerly your friends at the lakeside Hotel" Kuja finished reading as he reached in the envelope and puled out the tape and tossed it to James

"Hey james did you and Mary..you know and record it" Walter asked

"Much better James said but we need to find a VCR so I can watch it later and you can see" James said happily

"Oh goody what could be on the tape that James made nothing good probably" Kuja said sarcastically

"Let's go to the dining room I am hungry" James said runing for the dining room

"Wait up" Kuja said trying to catch James

"I can't wait to see the tape" Walter said Walking twords them

as james walked in the dining room Kuja's theme From FF IX is heard by piano

"Man what kind of fruit uses that song for an entrance" James said

"Uhh James that is my" Kuja stated to say

"Haha scared you" Laura said coming out from behind the piano

"not really" James said

" James why did you come here?" Laura asked

"To kill...errr...save Mary" James said stumbiling abit

"good but James will you adopt me Mary was going to" Laura asked

"Hell NO do you think I want kids" James started to say

Laura started to put on the sad puppy face

"Oh allright do you know where I parked" James asked

"yes" Laura said cheering up

"well wait there and we will be there shortly" James said

"YEAH!" Laura said Jumping around and running off twords the car

"James I am surprised at you" Kuja said smiling

"Yeah I know but" James was interupted again

"Hey James I found Sleeping beauty as A toy" Walter said

"Hey James look a key" Kuja said

"it says Empty porn key, OH HELL YEAH EMPLOYEE PORN" James screamed in triumph

"uhh James" Kuja said

"Yes "James said

"Uhh it say Employee Elevator key where did you get porn from that" Kuja asked

"Wrong side" James said

"Employee Porn Key well I'll be damned" Kuja said patting James on his back

"Uhh James there are some weird Monsters out here and they say you killed their daddy" Walter yelled

"What did you do James" Kuja asked as they left the dinning room

"You Sick bastard you killed papa" Another one of those mona lisa monsters said

"Oh these uh Mabey I did but mabey I...Oh to hell with it DIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!" James screamed bringing the plank down to kill them both

"Damn James you are on a killing spree" Walter said

"hey lets go in the employee door" James said

(BE) after 10 minets of searching they find the door

"Hey I found it" Kuja said

"well open it" James said

"You have the key dumbass" Walter said to James

"Oh right" James said pulling out a skeleton key

"That's not the key that is a skeleton key where the hell did you get that" Walter asked

"My dad gave it to me so I could open any door when I want" James said smiling

"And you had this the whole time you have been here" Kuja asked

"yep" James said nodding

"James buddy if I wasn't your friend I would have killed you" Walter said

"well there is an elevator in here" James said

"Well lets get in" Walter said annoyed

BUZZZ BUZZZ

"Why is the elevator buzzing?" James asked

"We are excedding the weight limit" Kuja said

"So we have to put up our equipment" James asked on the verge of tears

"Screw that I am staying here" Walter said getting off

"well James empty your pockets" Kuja said

"Oh all right" James said annoying

(BE) 30 Minets later

"is that all" Kuja said pointing at a pile of useless crap on the floor reaching to the ceiling

"Yes I think so. No wait" James said as he pulled out a tooth brush

"Well lets go down then" Kuja said pressing the button

"See you soon Walter" James said

"See ya' " walter said

"well here we are where only the employees see" Kuja said

"Let's go check out the pantry" James said

"ok" Kuja said agreeing

"MMMMMMMMMMM Food" James said drooling

"uhh Jmaes this food is so expired it is fossilized" Kuja said

"Hey A snow white toy" James said

"I think that is all in this room" Kuja said

Think I'm just to white and nerdy

"Oh that's my cel phone" James said pulling out a razor phone

"James Where did" Kuja started to say

"Shh I am on the phone, Oh shoot I'm going to have to call you back my battery is dead Okay Bye Bye" James said

"You have had this phone the whole time you idiot we could have been out of here already" Kuja said mad

"i guess we could have couldn't we" James said

"oh I hate you" Kuja said walking off

"Oh come on" James said

(BE) 1hour later

"Hey Walter we are back" James said coming in the door

"Why didn't you come up the elevator?" Walter asked

"It broke when we reached the bottom" Kuja said

"Did you find anything?" Walter asked

"A toy of snow white you know they all look like they came from burger king" James said

"Well I was looking around when you guys were down there so why don't we just go to your room you stayed in with Mary, James" Wlter said

"Why what are we going to do with these" James asked

"Just put them in your pocket that never ends James" Kuja said

"Oh yeah good idea" James said opening his pocket as a tornado came out and sucked everything he had taken out back into his pocket

"So that's how you clean the apartment" Walter said

"Yep, My room was on the third floor" James said

"So how do we get there?" Kuja asked as they walked down the hallway

"well we use James's skeleton key" Walter said as they reached the Gate blocking them from the third floor

"and on the hotel room" Walter said

"Wow walter way to cheat us out of a puzzle or some sort of monster fight" Kuja said

"Like we ever do anything anyway" Walter said as james went inside

"true" kuja said following James

"Hey A VCR We can watch the tape" James said turning on the T.V and putting in the tape

"I'm so Happy" Walter said happily

Smack

a slap is heard and a woman starts crying

"James you" Kuja said in disgust

"That's right Kuja I was beat by my wife" James said looking at the ground

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU LITTLE PANZY!" Walter laughed hysterically

"Now whine like my bitch!" Mary screamed

"Sniff do sniff I have sniff to" James cried

"NOW BITCH!" MAry screamed

"Let's fast foraward a little" James said angry

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU LITTLE PANZY" Walter laughed

"JAMES YOU ARE A SISSY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH" Kuja laughed

"oh here it comes" James said

"Hey James Why are you holding the pillow" Mary asked

"DIE BITCH DIE!" James screamed as he smothered Mary and he was also crying

"You panzy you are crying" Walter said still laughing

the tape ended with james doing the numa numa dance around Mary's dead body

"Well she apparently not alive so let's leave" Kuja said wiping away a tear

"Ok" James said as they left

"Hey James why are the hallways water damaged" Walter asked

"I don't know who do I look like Einstein or something" James said as he went into a random door and came out behind Walter and Kuja

"Hey guys this is weird" James said

"What the" Walter started to say

"Hang on" Kuja shut his eyes and held out his arms as the door at the end of the hallway lit up

"How did you do that kuja?" James said amazed

"Magic" Kuja said happily

"well let's go inside then" Walter said walking twords the door and entering it

"Hey Kuja why are we inside an elevator?" James asked

"who knows" Kuja said

"Hey guys I hear something on the other side of the door" Walter said as the door opened and Water rushed in and started to drown them

"AHHH GARGLE GARGLE I AM GOING TO DROWN THIS LOOKS LIKE THE END GUYS BECAUSE I CAN'T SWIM!" James screamed

"Hey James" Kuja said

"WHAT MY GOOD FRIEND!" James screamed

"The water is only waist high" Kuja said

"oh yeah" James said

"Hey guys spooky door" Walter said as they looked at a very large door with weird writing on it

"Hey guys I want you to know no matter whatever happens I cherish you both" James said

"Oh Jesus let's just go in and see what is inside" Kuja said almost vomiting

"JAMES!" Maria screamed

"JAMES HELP ME!" Sora scremed

"HEY UHH JAMES I THINK IT IS WHO YOU ARE SAVE US!" Kairi Screamed

"WALTER HELP ME!" Namine scremed

"Hello again James" A voice said

"JAMES IT'S STEVE!" Kuja yelled

"No Kuja I think it is P.head" James said

"It has been along time James do you not remember me I am P.heads brother steve" Steve said

"Oh shit you" Walter said

"What is it Walter" Kuja asked

"uhh james rmember when we were drunk and we almost gave P.head the snip on the private parts" Walter said

"Yeah" James nodded

"Well we cut steve's off insted I always wondered what happened to you" Walter said

"Tha's right I have my brothe drugged and gagged in the other room if you want to see him you will have to offer one sacrifice, one of these unlucky Bast" Steve started to say

"Maria" They all three said in unison

"Oh uhh Ok then one dead whor coming up" Steve said as he picked up his spear

"Oh you burn in hell mother" Maria sarted to say before she was stabbed

"Will you let the others free?" James pleaded

"Not yet...Slaves!" Steve yelled

"Yes master" The fake Mario said

"Sir" Sphiroth said

"I want you to" Steve started to say when suddenly

BANG

Walter had shot the fake mario and he fell to the ground and the maske dissolved...it was Angela

"That's what you get for knocking me out in the hallways bitch!" Walter scremed

"uhh then sephiroth attack" Steve scremed as he ran into the next room

"Oh no you don't" Walter said as he tackled Steve and pulled out his gun

"Hey James let me handle the one winged angel" Kuja said

"Sure go ahead Kuja" James said going to hide in the corner

"OHH big bad Girly man is going to kick my ass huh well bring it" Sephirtoh teased as kuja rushe him but sephiroth being as quick as he is countered and started to pummel Kuja into the dirt. he then threw Kuja across the room

"What can you do to beat me" Sephiroth said floating in the sky

"Heartless" Sephiroth started to say

"ULTIMA!" Kuja screamed as he blasted sephiroth out of the sky

"Now time to transform" Kuja said

Kuja concentrated real hard and transormed into his trance form

"What is this!" Sephiroth said in surprise

"Now. DIE!" Kuja screamed as he cast ultima again

"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Sephiroth screamed as he started to dissolve from the power of the blast

"Wow Kuja how did you do that magic" James asked

after reverting back to normal

"That and sheer detemination" Kuja said panting hard

"No matter kill me my master will dispose of you" Steve said

"Ok" James said as he turned and shot steve in the helmet and somehow managed to kill him

"James you idiot I wanted to find out who his master was" Walter asked

"It doesn't matter he is just beyond that door" Kuja said

"What are we going to do with them" Walter asked

"You help them walter, I have a bich to rekill" James said

Walter nodded

James headed twords the door

"James I am coming to!" Kuja screamed

"Why?" James asked

"Why not?" Kuja said

"No but really why?" James asked

"I have been with you this long what is just a little more" Kuja said winking at James

he nodded as they walked twords the door for the final challenge.

END OF CHAPTER

DMAN 2 In ONE DAY I AM GOOD! Well my loyal readers next chapter is the final chapter and I have one mor surprise left in me so watch for it. Read and reveiw


	17. Ding Dong the bitch is dead

Chapter 17

Ding dong the bitch is dead

Disclaimer: For the last time I own nothing

This is it James and Kuja had just left the room where Steve was killed and was now in the entrance of a hotel that was very foggy

"Hey James are you really going to go through with this I mean we could just leave" Kuja said

"No this bitch made me cry and I want that Bitch dead" James said fouced

"Ha she made you cry!...I mean thats's not funny" Kuja said quickly

"Hey I recognize this place this is the entrance to the Hotel! What a Gip!" James said angry

"Well we could go out the front door and see if there is another building on the property" Kuja said

"KUJA YOUR A GENUIS!" James screamed as he ran out the front door

"I wonder how far he would have made it without me probably to the bowling alley" Kuja thought as he followed him

"Hey Kuja that was the front door right?" James said confused

"Yeah but why are we in a hallway" Kuja said

"Sniff sniff Mary" They heard a voice say

"Hey that voice sounds familiar...but who is it" James said

"What do you want you pathetic excuse for a human" A phantom like voice of Mary was heard

"Why do you abuse me like this" A phantom voice of James is heard

"Because you are more than likley the biggest dumbass on the planet. I mean you infectevery one with stupidity" The voice of Mary said

"This conversation is familiar too" James said still wondering what was going on

"I would love to see you try and kill me you pathetic panzy bitch" Phantom Mary said again

"sniff I HATE YOU MARY!sniff" Phantom James said

"So what now make my dinner...bitch" Phantom Mary said as a door was heard closing

when James and Kuja had reached the end of the hallway and everthing was silent

"Man that guy that was getting beat by his wife sounded like the biggest Wuss on the Planet" James said

"Yes snicker Yes James he did" Kuja said trying to hide his laughter as they went in the door

"Wow look at the stair case" Kuja said in amazement

"not impressive me and Walter walked down one three time as big" James said ineffected

"I still want to know where all of this came from I mean where was the bigass staircase when we came in earlier" Kuja said wondering

"Oh yeah I did see a sign at the front door saying somthing about the big staircase left and the main hotel was right about something...must have been why the staircase left" James said

"Do you mean it read big staircase to the left and main Hotel to the right" Kuja said

"Yeah thats it I knew I was close" James said happy

"Yeah James you are now reading at a pre schooler level" Kuja said patting James on the back as they went up the stairs

"Hey James I think we are near the top" James said

"Yeah I can see light hmm seemed bigger from down there how High up are we?" Kuja asked

"Hey I can see where I parked from here" James said leaning over the railing and almost falling

"I wonder if I pushed you if I would be convicted" Kuja said outloud

"Thanks buddy I love you to!" James said happily and hugging Kuja

"O.k James let's just get it done" Kuja said pushing James off and continuing up the stairs

They had finaly reached the top

"Hey there is a bed up here" James saidaid as the stairway collapsed behind them

"Oh shit!" Kuja screamed

"How are we supposed to get down!" James said

"I don't think you are going to have to worry about that" An extremely feminet voice said

"Hey that's the voice" Kuja said turning around to see an extremely girly looking yet muscular man with weird blue hair and what looked like a dress and an open shirt

"Yes Kuja it is me...Seymore" Seymore said

"Nice dress homo" Kuja said

"to you as well" Seymore said

"HEY THIS ISN'T A DRESS IT IS A...a...A SKIRT IT IS COMPLETLY DIFFERENT" Kuja yelled

"Yes I bet" Seymore said as he shot kuja with a yellow blast from his hand and knocked him out

"Who are you" James asked

"Seymore" Seymore said

"Who?" James said

"SEYMORE" Seymore said louder

"I don't understand" James said confused

"you know Mary's Ex- Boyfriend" Seymore said annoyed

"What?" James asked

"I don't get it" James said

"You told her I was gay and just using her to cover it up" Seymore said

"I what know?" James asked again

"I called Your house and Told you I was going to kill you in silent hill" Seymore said begining to get frustrated

"I don't remember" James said

"I also said I was going to kill Mary for beating me and calling me bitch" Seymore said

"I'm not following" James said

"I have her chained to the wall and she is screaming at us right now" Seymore said pointing at the wall

"Where?" James said

"RIGHT THERE!" Seymore screamed and pointed at the wall

"I still don't see it" James said looking over there

"RIGHT HERE" Seymore said standing right next to her

"Nope still nothing" James said

"I AM GOING TO KIL MARY" Seymore screamed

"WHAT!" James screamed"No one can kill Mary because I already did" James said

"You I DIOT YOU DIDIN'T EVEN SMOTHER HER YOU SMOTHERD THE GUY SHE WAS CHEATING ON YOU WITH!" Seymore screamed

"Liar" James said

"THE TAPE EVEN SHOWED MARY WATCHNG YOU DO IT!" Seymore said

"I don't belive you" James said

"YOU WERE EVEN TALKING TO HER ABOUT THE WEATHER!" Seymore said

"Hey wait a minet" James said angry

"now you remember" Seymore said relieved

"I WAS GOING TO KILL MARY YOU ASSHOLE!" James said

"I know that is why I called you here" seymore said smirking

"Wait I know who you are now" James said

"Finally" Seymore said

"Yeah your mr. rodgers gay cousin Barney right?" James asked

"No I am seymore Mary Ex-boyfriend who was abused and scourned" Seymore said frustrated

"Oh yeeaah" James said

"You get it now?" seymore asked

"no" James said

"S-E-Y-M-O-R-E" Seymore spelled his name

"Oh yeah I remember you you are that homo Mary was with before me" James said the lightbulb finnally coming on

"YES!" Seymore scremed in triumph

"but who am I?" James asked

"uhh James...James Sunderland" Seymore said confused

"Damn I thought I was A dog" James said dissapointed

"n..no you are not a dog" Seymore said worried about his own sanity

"Well move nameless stranger who I do not know I am going to Mary" James said

"Like Bloody hell you are I am going to stop you" Seymore said

"Why?" James asked

"Because I want to Kill her" Seymore said

"Hey wait a minet why don't we" James started to say as seymore punched James in the face

"You puch like a bitch" James said laughing

Seymore kicked him in the crotch

"and fight like a woman" James said as he hit the ground

"Now Mary time to die" Seymore said holding out his hand

"OWWWWWWWW" Seymore said as he hit the ground

James had hit him in the crotch...With the Wooden plank...where the nails are

"Payback asshole" James said

"You wouldn't beat me to death with that plank would you?" Seymore said very scared

"ummm...no" James said lowering the plank

"Oh thank god" Seymore said relieved

"I slice you in half with this" James said pulling out P.heads bigass sword

"Oh shit this sucks" Seymore said as James dealt the death blow to seymore...and then again cutting him into 4 pieces

"Oh shit that has to hurt" Kuja said now coming to

"I have done it" James said looking at the sky

"NOT YET YOU STILL HAVE TO SAVE ME ASSHOLE!" Mary screamed still chained to the wall

"Oh Yeeeaaah" James said slyly

"Thank god you came now let me free" Mary said as james removes the chains

"anything for you dear" James said smirking

"good now let's get the hell out of here" Mary said pushing james out of the way

"The stairs are over here Dear" James said pointing to the stairs that fell

"oh yes thank yoooooouuuuuuuuu AHHHHHHHHHH!" Mary said as James pushed her in the hole

"DIE BITCH DIE!" James screamed as he fired his gun randomly down the hole at her

"Hey Kuja got anything that would help" James asked

"hmmmm about 3 tons of explosives in this bag" Kuja said reaching in James pocked and pulled out said bag

"where the hell did you get that!" James said amazed

"home depot" Kuja said smiling

"hmm I have an Idea" James said

"I know what your thinking but how are we supposed to get down from here?" Kuja asked

CRASH

James and Kuja turned around and saw walter driving James car with Laura sleeping in the back up through the window

"Walter how in the hell did you get up here!" Kuja screamed

"Hey you arn't the the only who can use Magic buddy" Walter said smirking

"Hey Walter could you help us with something" James said

"Sure but what is it?" Walter asked

James whispered in Walters ear

"WOW! James that is actually a good Idea but let's get down first" Walter said

(BE) half an hour later

"is everthing set?" Kuja asked. they were on the ground and on the road that leads out of town

"yes I got everthing except the hosptial Like planned" James said

"The apartments, the prison, and the laberyinth, oh and the hotel?" Kuja asked

"Yes all of it" Walter said

"allright let's go" Kuja said as they got in the car and started driving Walter behind the wheel

"Can I push it?" James asked

"not yet" Kuja said

"now" James asked

"no" Walter said

"How about now" James said so excited

"...O.k Now" Kuja said as James pushed the button and Walter stopped the car and they all got out

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

They had bombed Silent hill

"Dind Dong the Bitch is dead" James said

"It is truly beautiful" Walter said

"So what are you going to do after this Kuja?" James asked

"Well I live alone so I guess I could go home" Kuja said depressed

"No you should move in with us. come on it would be fun" Walter said

"Really" Kuja said

"sure. come on let's go home" James said as he started to drive his car awayfrom silent hill

"Hey James are you glad I took Mechanics class?" Walter asked

"yes I am or we would have to walk to ashfeild" James said

"James I have to go to the bathroom" Laura whined

"o.k sure" James said as he pulled over

"hmm hmm hm hmmm" Laura hummed as james had his back turned

"all done" Laura said

"OH MY GOD LAURA WHAT IS THAT!" James screamed as he pointed behind her

"Where!" Laura screamed as she turned around

Click

"Oh shit" Laura said

BANG

James had shot her

when James had reached the car the others just stared at him

"James did you just?" Kuja started to say

"I told you I didn't want any Damn Children." James said laughing

"That's our James: Walter said as they drove off into the horizon

END OF STORY

stay tned after the credits for a special announcement

Aurthur Drek Campbell A.K.A Dark Comet

Jigsaw 5 for some great ideas check out his story coming up soon called the loud plains

My friend Levi for the part about the Hair

My friend Brian for continued support

My English teacher Mr. Mays For support

of Corse My Parents for not killing me for always needing to use the computer

all of my reviewers

Schriberjoe my first reveiw it really helped as well as all of the others he sent

MegFallow for conitnued reviews that helped me move along

Khpwnage for his review

Mr. Kennedy for trashing the hell out of that Dante guy

Kathey for her supporting reveiws

Nameless dragon for his review

Catte for her review

Jec for his laughs of kindness

Silver horror and Lemex for their reveiws as well

and any one I forgot

SILENT HILL 2 THIS TOWN SUCKS

WOW I AM DONE D-O-N-E. I am sorry the credits were so long but I didn't want to forget anybody if I did I am sorry just ell me and I will thank you. anyway my major announcement, I bet you thought it was the inclusion of Seymore as the main villian or Laura getting shot no no NO! My announcement is the shocker... There is going to be a sequel called SILENT HILL 4 THIS ROOM SUCKS (name is pending) if you cannot tell it is based on Silent Hill 4 the room and if I am correct I should have chapter one up by the end of the day so be watching so until then BYE BYE!


End file.
